Abbey's Birth Story
"I don't have much time to write, the time I'm taking now is cutting into my precious sleep time. A mistake I'm sure I'll pay for sometime tomorrow morning when my darling daughter is all done sleeping and I'm not! I just wanted to write my thoughts about my own personal experience of bringing Abbey into this world and what it meant for me. Not probably for the faint hearted, I'm not one to gloss over or sugar coat stuff, be warned.
Besides exercising regularly and eating a very respectful diet, I prepared for the big event by studying Hypnobabies (www.hypnobabies.com) during my pregnancy. I learned self hypnosis with the idea that I did not want to have any drugs for the birth of our baby. There is a lot of misinformation out there about the drugs that are given to women during labor and delivery. They are not informed of the side effects that they and the baby will have. One of the most popular drugs used today stays in the babies system up to two months after birth! I did a lot of reading and researching about the birth process, (American) hospital policies and procedures, and my different birth options. I mean I did a LOT of research and let me tell you that 99% of the women in America are buffalo'd into believing that Technology is the way to go - it is wrong and inaccurate to believe so, it is dangerous. The more interventions the more problems occer - that is a fact. Anyways - bottom line is that I created a birth plan that spelled out to the letter that we didn't want any drugs, no vaccines or shots after birth, no interventions of any kind, nothing (unless of course of a life threatening emergency). Just let me birth the baby and breastfeed and let us be alone without all the hubbub and unnecessary extras. Because we just had moved to the midwest a month and a half before our due date I think it was just short of miraculous that I was able to find a doctor (I wanted a GP, not a OB/GYN, that makes a big huge difference too) who not only supported our birth plan but AGREED with it and was wonderful!! When it was finally time for a doctor to be in the room she just stood to the side and waited for it to happen.
So I could soap box about everything I learned - but I won't due to sleep and time shortages. So about the birth -- wow -- I did it! I am pretty proud of myself about it too. She was born on 5/30/07 at 9:26 a.m . weighing 7 lb. 13 oz. and 20 inches long. She was perfect. I literally shot her out like a cannon (my husbands words, not mine). To start at the beginning though... I had some contractions for about two weeks leading up to the big day, a couple times getting my hopes up - but always puttering out after a couple hours. I used Primrose oil every night on my cervix and did a lot of weeding and garden work on my hands and knees. I was worried about going too far over my due date because they don't have much tolerance here for that. Anyways, the day before she was born I had woke up in the morning feeling like something was probably a little different and started having stronger contractions and then much to my delight -- woo-hoo -- bloody show!! Throughout the day the contractions kept coming regularly about 5-7 minutes apart but I was totally able to work with it. I had a doctors appt. and I let her check me (first time I let anyone check me and I was 40+ weeks) and that was around 3pm and I was dilated to a 3 and 75% effaced. I thought that was pretty exciting. Then I went shopping at Target. Then I went home and made dinner, then I made 3 dozen chocolate chip cookies for the nurses, all the while pausing to wait out contractions because they were definitely demanding my attention by this point. I let my Doula know that it was go time and that I'd be calling her at some point for her to come over. The plan was to stay at home and labor as long as humanly possible and then we'd all go to the hospital. We hired a doula so that we'd have the extra help in following our birth plan and to help protect our environment at the hospital since concentration is of utmost importance with self-hypnosis. After dinner I went up to bed and listened to my birth day cd, did a fear release, and listened to the deepening cd. Well around 10:30 hubby came to bed and at 11 I got up and said I was calling our Doula. Up until that point I'm pretty sure that Ed didn't think that we'd be doing anything much at all until tomorrow and he was fully prepared to have a nice long night of sleep. That would have been nice... Oh well. After I got up Ed started getting things together and the car packed. Our Doula got to our house around midnight and by that time the contractions were two minutes apart and strong enough that I had to really focus and breath to feel okay, but it was already very intense and I was sure it was almost time for the baby to come out because it had progressed in intensity so quickly. So we hurried to the hospital and I was checked and I was only dilated to a 4, but I was totally effaced. The baby was in the perfect position. I was a little disappointed to learn I was only dilated to a four, but I knew my body was working REALLY hard and I knew it was doing what it was supposed to. I totally trusted my body to do what it was supposed to, I was just along for the ride. I just listened to my cds all night long and worked to stay focused on what they were saying. I dilated consistently about 2 centimeters every hour and a half or so. I knew my body was contracting effectively and was eager to have them check me that often. Ed was amazing all night long and helped me constantly. He was my champion. I truly could not have made it through the night as I did without his help and constant attention. He gave me strength. Our doula Tammy was there for us both and was great working as the go between with the nurses.
Nine and a half hours later I was fully dilated and I allowed my doctor to break the bag of waters. It was only maybe 20 minutes later when I started having to push and Abbey started her way down the canal. Each contraction seemed like an eternity, but at the same time, time FLEW by. 45 minutes would seem like only five in hindsight. Ed on one side of me and our Doula on the other I gave it my all. It hurt like a son of a gun. I ripped to timbuktu, and holy shit I swore to god I'd never do THAT again. I made a lot of noise. I used the Hypnobabies techniques all throughout the labor, but honestly when it was time for her to be pushed out no amount of breathing or relaxing made a lick of difference. At the end there it just plain made me feel panicky and desperate to get OUT of the situation I was in, but clearly it was too late for that. The pushing stage only lasted about 20 minutes because I thought to myself OH MY GOD I can't feel this anymore!! She must come out NOW!! So I pushed. Hard. And out she shot and she FLOPPED onto the table, shocking everyone including the doctor who couldn't even catch her, but most of all my poor husband who was also feeling a little panicky because of the intensity of the moment!
Since she came out so fast her head was perfectly shaped and her color was perfect. She had really high APGAR scores (an 8 and then five min. later a 9). There she was, wet, wailing and flailing about, with her eyes WIDE open on my chest. They helped me to get her to breastfeed a little then and she went right for it. Ed cut the cord and our doula took some pictures. She had no problems breastfeeding (at least at that moment) or getting latched on. I was just in a state of awe and I was so RELEIVED it was over.
We got left alone for awhile then with our new baby and I was so glad that everyone was so totally respectful of our birth plan. I couldn't believe how BIG she was there on my chest or that this was really a baby that was really growing inside of me all this time. I was able to move her and handle her (I had worried about that part of it, but that part at least came very naturally) It is really a moment that I will treasure forever. Later I couldn't believe how tiny she was. No one forced us to do anything. My baby was born with no drugs, no shots, no torture instruments and she was perfect. After she was born I let them give me a shot of pitocin to help expel the placenta and then I got some Motrin to help with the pain. We were exhausted! What a job! I didn't want to let her go for even a moment and she never left my sight. I had thought maybe we'd be able to leave the hospital that next day, but we stayed the full two days and got all the help we could. They were so awesome there and again, so respectful of us and our needs that they made it easy to stay.
My big regret - not being able to have a water birth. I was so ready for one! It was our plan in Boston to have a water birth attended by midwives at a free standing birth center. We were all set and all my prenatal care was being done through them. They were amazing and I'm sure that the birth would have been that much easier had I had access to a birthing pool. The wee little tub that I had access to here was not big enough for any good use. I just know that if I'd had water to labor and birth in it would have been so much more comfortable because positioning was the hardest thing!!
The aftermath, being home now for 7 weeks, I can say that I've got the hang of breastfeeding now and I'm mostly healed up but not quite yet. Soon though I will be 100%. At least emotionally and mentally I'm back on track. Because I had gestational diabetes and had a very strict diet and exercise regimen the last trimester I actually ended up losing weight. I was completely able to successfully control the diabetes with my diet and exercise so there was no ill effect to me or the baby. But there was a great hidden benefit -- after she was born I weighed ten lbs less than when I got pregnant - isn't that amazing? I couldn't be any happier about THAT. I actually lost all the pregnancy weight AND most of the weight I'd gained when I quit smoking two and a half years ago!! Clothes that didn't fit me when I got preg. fit me now. I love it :)
One more sidenote, just the day before yesterday she started giving us real smiles and I just melt into a big pile of GOO when I see that big toothless grin and hear those little coo's. She has been a picture of health and is very bright and wide eyed. Her temperment is really very relaxed and at the same time really attentive and curious about her world. I give so much credit for how she is to not having any drugs for the labor or delivery. Everyone comments about how "with it" she is, how beautiful she is, and everyone comments about how bright and open her eyes are and have been since the day she was born... We're both head over heels in love with her and her Daddy has already mentioned more than once now how much he wants more! Can't believe it, but I probably agree!"