August's Birth Story
I guess it'd be appropriate to give you some background that I consider
important. Danel, my DH, is usually either at work (graveyard shifts, morning
shifts AND evening shifts) or trying to recover from sleep depreivation, so we
felt that hiring a doula would be the best thing. In spite of the fact that we
couldn't financially afford to pay one, and in spite of the fact that our
otherwise very-good doctor severely disliked doulas in general, we hired one
that was willing to work on a barter system. It just so happened that she was
training to become a midwife, so I could babysit her kids, let her practice
drawing blood, di scrapbooking for her kids, etc, in exchange for her services.
Her name is Heather. I've also been taking herbs to prepare for the birth,
namely Dr Christopher's Prenatal Formula. I don't know if it's had an effect on
the length of my birth, but I think it did. Finally, for weeks before August
came I've been having leg spasms, cramps, etc in all sorts of different places
and intensities in my butt, hip, and thigh areas.
Here goes:
I guess I've been having pre-labor going on for a while that I haven't been
feeling, because when I had my prenatal check-up on Tuesday I measured at 3 cm
75% effaced which, according to Dr. B, equalled a 95% chance of going into labor
that week. I hoped so because I was 40 weeks along and I didn't want to have any
confrontation with him the next week concerning induction. I liked him; no point
in arguing unless I have to. And with me being 3 cm opened (can't think of the
right word), I figured my body would go into high gear once August decided to
come.
At about 12:45 Saturday morning I woke up with a distinctly uncomfortable
feeling. Got up, used the restroom, realized I was having pressure waves, and
noticed that those pressure waves were doing their best to clean out my system,
so I stayed on the toilet for a bit. Once my system was cleaned out, I tried
going back to bed, but laying down felt uncomfortable. In fact, only sitting
upright leaning slightly forward would do, according to my body. I had noticed
that I was having these pressure waves rather closely together, guessing that
they were already less than 5 minutes apart. Danel was vaguely awake, so I told
him that I was having contractions, then went back into the bathroom to enjoy a
warm bath. He brought me a stopwatch and asked me to get him if the waves were
less than five minutes apart. I decided not to tell him that they already were,
and just timed myself instead while he got me the stereo and the Hypnobabies
CDs. Had a pressure wave while he was gone that was about 35 seconds long. Had
another one when he came back, which was about 40 seconds long and which
happened 3 minutes after the previous one.
He asked me which CD I wanted to listen to. I don't know why I did this, but I
decided to go with the Deepening CD instead of the Birthing Time one. Silly me.
I guess I was feeling too calm and unrushed to be bothered by the fact that
these pressure waves usually meant that I should be going to the hospital.
Danel left me alone in the tub with the Deepening CD on while he made some phone
calls. While he was gone, I really paid attention to what was happening as I
turned off during each pressure wave. I got better at feeling them coming on, so
I was able to get into Off in a more timely manner. I was able to compare the
waves to the spasms and cramps I've been having for weeks: while the leg cramps
came on suddenly and they definitely hurt, these power surges came on gradually
so I was never surprised, and they honestly didn't hurt. They were just
involuntary muscles that were working very, very, VERY hard. The muscles weren't
fighting each other the way the muscles in true cramps fought each other. All I
had to do was keep the rest of my body from interfering with what my uterus was
doing, and everything was fine. So I shut Off every 2 -3 minutes, and was very
glad to be in the bathtub with a pillow under my head.
Danel gave me a blessing, called Heather (who said she'd be there in 30 minutes)
and our next door neighbor, printed out our birth preferences and our newborn
procedures preferences, got me a yogart, and called my mom. Mom wanted to talk
to me, so I spoke to her. I had three pressure waves while I was talking her, so
I used one-word responses when necessary. This was how our conversation ended:
Mom - Amber, you need to get to a hospital.
Me - okay.
Mom - Amber, I mean it. Get out of the bathtub, get dressed, and go to the
hospital right now!
Me - okay.
Mom - I love you. Good bye!
Me - luvuto.
Mom - Bye!
Me - bye.
Mom later confessed to me that the moment she hung up, she told Dad, "She's in
transition and doesn't know it! She'd be lucky if she doesn't give birth in the
car." She was really, really worried, so she prayed that I'd make it to the
hospital. She didn't get a comfortable feeling about that prayer, so she prayed
again, this time asking that someone would be there to help me. Then she got the
feeling of comfort, and she knew everything'd be all right.
I didn't want to, but I eventually made my way out of the tub between pressure
waves. As the tub was draining, Danel asked if he could take a really quick
shower. I told him that I needed him too much. The only thing that scared me at
that point was not finding a comfortable place to completely relax the way I
needed to, since having tension anywhere remotely close to my birthing muscles
disturbed me.
Felt a wave coming on right after I got out of the bathroom, barely made it to
the birthing ball, and grabbed ahold of Danel in time to relax as deeply as I
needed to. Sitting there, it occurred to me that the car ride to the hospital
was going to be uncomfortable, and that I'd stay uncomfortable until I'd be
admitted into a room. "I wish I could just teleport to a hospital bed," I said.
Anyway, I stayed on the birthing ball through another couple of waves. Danel
managed to tell our neighbors that we needed them to come over right now to
watch over our 2-year-old daughter, Hazel. Then I made it into our room so I
could get dressed.
Sitting on the bed, I think that's when I really hit transformation. I threw up
to finish clearing out my system, and I started feeling the waves in my back.
Then Hazel woke up. Usually, when Hazel wakes up in the middle of the night, she
is rather inconsolable. This time was no different. She couldn't calm down, and
she insisted that nothing short of being on Mommy was going to do. She kept
climbing on me. I tried having her on my lap through the pressure waves, but I'd
have to grab ahold of Danel to hang onto him, which sandwiched her between her
Daddy and Mommy's hard tummy, and she'd try to shove Daddy away. I transfered
back to the birthing ball to see if I could get more comfy there.
As you could guess, this was a rather rough time. The back labor was annoying, I
was feeling irritated that Hazel couldn't just spontaneously NOT be a toddler
and calm herself and not be on Mommy (or at least be OK with Daddy hugging
Mommy, too), and poor Danel couldn't leave me to do other things, like take our
things out to the car. But I felt really, really anxious for Danel. He was
operating on next to no sleep (having just worked a graveyard shift followed by
an afternoon-late evening shift), and he was visibly overwealmed by all of the
separate, conflicting demands made of him.
Finally, it occurred to me that Hazel'd go to sleep if I'd just lay down in bed
with her. Right then, our doula also walked up to our doorstep. A minute later,
our neighbors arrived. Heather put pressure on my back for a pressure wave or
two, and then I transfered to my bed so I could hopefully put Hazel to sleep,
and Danel was free to finish putting things together and take his shower.
It was interesting how, earlier that night, my body disliked the idea of laying
down, but now it was fine with me doing what it took to comfort my daughter. I
guess that the fact that being upright for over an hour helped, too, by giving
my hips a chance to rest. Except for the annoying back labor and trying to keep
my dear daughter from poking my tummy as we snuggled, I was completely
comfortable on the bed, letting Hazel lay on my outstreached arm. She eventually
calmed down, but there was no way she was going back to sleep; she knew
something was going on, and she wasn't going to miss it for all the candy in
existence.
Danel started packing the car. Not that I knew it at the time, but he was. I had
a vague discomfort that reminded me of needing to go pee, and a very distinct
sensation of needing to go poo. Now, I *knew* I had nothing left in me. The urge
left when that pressure wave passed. I said, "I ned to pee" and hurried to the
bathroom again. Sat down. "Pop!" went my waters, nice and loud and clear into
the toilet bowl. I stayed put.
Next pressure wave came, and I once again felt the urge to go poo. "I gotta
poooooo!" I groaned so Heather would hear. She grabbed a sterile glove and got
it on her hand and made it to me just in time for me to decide to go with the
urge and push.
That was such an amazing, powerful experience! Once I gave in and let it start,
it just didn't stop. The pushing just took over, and it was thirlling! I could
feel the weight of August's body shift from my back to my front and out he
slithered, all in one push. I loved it!
Heather called for towels. She laid August on my chest. My poor husband came in,
20 seconds too late to catch his son like he had wanted. I eventually made my
way to the bed and rested. I eventually looked at the clock. 3:00. I guestimated
that August came at about 2:52. I'm horrible at guestimating time, but that
doesn't matter.
It took 30 minutes to birth the placenta. I had to TRY to birth the placenta.
And with every wave I still felt it in my back and nowhere else, even though
baby was obviously not in me anymore. I found that irritating. And my perineum
was so tender that I couldn't stand to have Heather touch it. Still, she found
that I had a tear. Both the tenderness and the tear were no surprise, since I
didn't exactly give my poor perineum a chance to streach.
We didn't have sterile shears and I was bleeding a bit more than Heather felt
comfortable with, and I didn't feel ready to handle being stitched up at home,
so off to the hospital we get, with August's placenta carried in a tupperware
bowl and with our awesome, calm neighbors taking Hazel (who instantly adored her
baby brother). I was on such a euphoric high that I was blabbing my story to
everyone in earshot. Heather told me later that the nurses were like "You did
this (birthed at home) on *purpose*, didn't you?!" but the only negativity I
heard was the on-call doctor saying, "You have a 3rd degree tear, which is what
happens at homebirths." I didn't care. I knew what he said wasn't true, and that
he was just cranky at 4:30 in the morning and so was just exaggerating and
making things up, and so I didn't take that statement seriously at all. My
perineum was too tender to touch and I didn't feel skilled enough in my hypnosis
for me to try using it during repairs, so I agreed to a spinal (or whatever the
one-shot epidural-like thing is called).
During this whole time, Danel and I kept talking about the birth, and so the
nurses and the doctor understood that it was all a sincere accident, and once
they knew that they gt nice again. I think one even felt sorry for me because
she said, "It must have been scary, huh?" That caught me off guard. It never
occured to me that people would consider having an accidental home birth as
scary. But then I remembered that most people don't know about Hypnobabies and
so they really WOULD have been in pain and WOULD have been scared. Lucky me.
As expected, I didn't have a 3rd degree tear. Still, it was a 2nd degree one.
All while I was being taken care of, Danel stayed with August, and so was able
to cut his cord and give him his first bath, was there for his measuring (8
pounds, 3 ounces after 2 poopie diapers; and 19.5 inches long. Slightly shorter
and definitely heavier than Hazel was) and Vit K shot, and for other things that
I don't know about because I was preoccupied.
All of the recovery rooms were in use, so once everything was taken care of
Danel finally got some sleep in the roll-out bed, and I got to simply keep
August in my arms. He was such a calm baby, very content to simply be with me.
Because he was born out of the hospital, he had a chance of being exposed to
germs that the other babies in the nursery weren't exposed to, so he wasn't
"allowed" to go into the nursery. That made me happy. I didn't want to be
separated from my baby, anyway, and it worked out great that the nurses wouldn't
be tempted to "give me a chance to rest" and cart him away.
The rest of my stay went well. It turned out I had lost quite a bit of blood, so
it was the right choice for me to go to the hospital for my stitching. And then
I got pampered, what with the meals and all. And at least two of the nurses who
checked in on me really liked me and my birthing story.
So, that's it. My apologies for the length of it (I'm very good at drawing
things out) and for my self-centeredness. I figured I'm allowed to be
overly-proud of myself. I look forward to preparing better for the next birth
(most specifically the pushing phase and improve my "Peace" cue) so I can have
an even better experience.
Amber