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Lucas's Birth Day
Lucas's guess date, June 12th, came and went, and while I was really
excited to meet my little one, I also loved being pregnant and knew
it was a special time that I'd probably only experience once more in
my life, so I really didn't mind that it lingered.However, what made the days before his birth so anxiety provoking was the idea
that I might have to be induced. At my last OB appointment, my
doctor walked in and barely said hi to me before she picked up the
phone, pushed the speed dial, and said "I'm putting you on the
schedule." That was it. No discussion at all. And I stupidly
didn't protest because I was in denial that it would happen and also
a little shocked that she, my very natural-childbirth-friendly
doctor who is known for jumping through hoops to avoid C-sections
and has also proven to be very encouraging of natural remedies and
reluctant to suggest medications unless they are absolutely
necessary, was so quick to get me scheduled for an induction by only
5-6 days past my guess date!I realized when I got home and burst into tears that I really should have protested and asked about my options in terms of non-stress tests, etc. But that was Thursday
afternoon, and I knew she had already left for a long weekend trip and wouldn't be back until Tuesday morning. So I had planned to call her to discuss it on Tuesday afternoon. (My induction was scheduled for Thursday.) In the meantime, I researched all of the
natural induction options, but because I have life-threatening allergies to so many drugs and some foods, I was reluctant to try any of the herbal suggestions. I was also upset and conflicted because, while my strongest desire was to start my birthing time naturally, I was also totally bummed that if that happened before Tuesday, my OB whom I adore would not be there with me. She is in private practice, so I didn't even know her on-call doctor at all.
One of the members of this list posted her local restaurant's eggplant parmesan recipe, the restaurant that "guarantees" you'll go into labor within 48 hours of eating their eggplant parmesan, and I decided to make that on Saturday night. Well guess what? My water
broke Sunday night, on father's day! It was about 10:15 p.m. I had just gotten into bed, and I actually felt a strong "pop" inside of me. Then I felt wet. I went to the bathroom and it was clear that my water had broken. I had a couple of weak pressure waves around that time, but nothing big.My doctor wants her patients to go to the hospital within 4-6 hours of their water breaking, so I figured we'd be heading over there about 6 hours later. But I thought I'd get my things together right then just in case. I was sooooo excited!! Bummed that my OB wouldn't be there, but so excited to experience childbirth and to meet my little one. I called my parents, who live about 2 hours away, and told them to leave for the hospital in about 4 hours unless I called earlier. I also called my best friend to share the exciting news and ask her to come over to feed my dog on her way to work in the morning. I think I put my birthing day affirmations on the iHome speakers while I was packing.
Just an hour later, when I was done packing, I had planned to lie in bed and relax with my affirmations for a bit. But then I noticed that my pressure waves were getting much stronger and were actually quite close together and lasting a long time. I started timing them, and I realized that my pressure waves were already 60-90 seconds long and only about 2-2 1/2 minutes apart! Oh my gosh, already time to go to the hospital?! I kept timing them, and they stayed consistently that long and that frequent for about an hour,
so off we went!
We delivered at Stanford University's Lucile Packard Children's Hospital, which is very high security. A valet parks your car and you are escorted by a security guard up to Labor and Delivery. (No visitors are allowed in the hospital without first checking through security, who records your presence and confirms that you actually have a relative in the hospital, etc.) I was happily on my way up, in center switch, and stopping to sit on my birth ball through each pressure wave. The hospital was peaceful and quiet, and the security guard was friendly and happy to hold the elevator, etc. during my frequent stops. The L&D nurses were very friendly and immediately knew that I was planning a natural childbirth when they saw the birth ball. They were very interested in hypnosis for childbirth and were excited to see the process, and they were careful to read my birth plan and the Hypnobabies documents and were respectful of all of the terminology and requests, etc. It was great!When the nurse checked me, although my pressure waves were so strong and close together, I was actually only dilated to 2 centimeters! This didn't phase me at all, though. They called my OB's on-call doctor since she was on vacation, and he said it would be no problem for me to stay in the hospital. I didn't want to go home anyway, as I just wanted to get settled and stay in one place. The nurses didn't think my water had broken since they could still feel the bag of waters in tact, but when they saw how there was nevertheless a constant stream, they said there was probably just a small tear up higher. (I continued to leak quite a bit throughout the birthing time, but during the pushing stage the whole bag of
waters burst open, and fluid got all over my mom and all over the floor, etc.!)
I got settled in my birthing room, and the nurses kept the lights off and kept everything very quiet. As things got more intense, I listened to my birthing time hypnosis CD a couple of times, and that was really helpful. My parents arrived at some point as I was listening to that CD, and my mom said it seemed like I was just sleeping soundly for hours on end. (Of course, I was not!) I thought I would have wanted to walk around or spend time on my birth
ball during my birthing time, but actually I ended up just wanting to stay put in bed. At one point, I tried my birth ball, but it was not comfortable for me, and I was simply most comfortable in bed. In fact, every single time I got up out of bed, either to go to the
bathroom or to sit on the birth ball, I felt very ill and threw up! So there were multiple reasons why lying in bed was the most comfortable position for me.
Up until about 6 cm, I was doing very well with the hypnosis. However, I have to admit that the discomfort was rather intense after about 6 cm, and at that point I felt that I could see why people choose drugs! I really wanted to listen to my CD more, as it was so helpful in relaxing me, but the pressure waves were so intense, so long, and so close together that I didn't even want to deal with turning on my iPod, etc. Plus, every time I tried to listen to it, I would get interrupted either by the need to go to the bathroom (which was always a production involving vomiting) or by the nurse needing to hook up the monitor for the intermittent monitoring. (The nurses were so great, though, especially the last one, Marianna, who got us through the delivery. She would speak so softly, would always gently touch my arm and wait for me to respond before speaking to me, she constantly told me how well I was doing and how all of the nurses were so amazed and proud of me, she used
the term "pressure" and "comfort", etc.)So, I have to say that at this point, I was experiencing very intense discomfort. I would try
my best to relax through the pressure waves, but for some reason, TOTALLY relaxing actually made the discomfort worse for me. I found that I somehow needed to ever so slightly tense up through each pressure wave in order to feel most comfortable through it. It
wasn't that I was unable to relax; I could, but each time I "let go," the discomfort was worse for me. So I went with what was working for me, which was slight tension. I started moaning very low through each pressure wave, mainly I think to indicate to my husband or my mom that I was having one, because I really needed them to push on my forehead with a cold cloth through each one, and without that vocalization, they weren't aware that I was having a pressure wave.
When I felt the need to push, I said something to my mom, who told
my husband to go out to tell the nurses that I needed to push. My
husband said, "but she's not supposed to push right now!" And my
mom said "she can't help it--go tell the nurses now!" Funny, I
don't know what my husband was thinking. So Marianna came in to
check me and said that there was no cervix left and that I could
allow my body to do whatever it felt like doing. I was so happy and
excited that I would soon meet my baby! This next hour of pushing
was so intense--I screamed very loudly through each push, but not at
all because of discomfort, just because I was doing the "ahhh"
thing, and letting my body do what it needed, and that's what was
happening.I don't remember feeling a ton of discomfort during this pushing stage. In fact, it was much more comfortable than the 6 -10 cm stage, so it was a relief! I just remember thinking that it was so intense and also exhausting. I also really needed my husband or
my mom to push hard on my forehead with the cold washcloth through
each push. I don't even know if there was a mirror or anything in
there for me to look, but I was concentrating and working so hard
that there was no way I could have turned my attention to a mirror!
In the end of the hour, things progressed so quickly that they had
to grab a resident to come in to deliver the baby in case the doctor
didn't get there in time. The resident was standing by, then she
suddenly grabbed her gloves because it seemed the head was about to
come out, and just in that moment, my OB's on call doctor arrived.
He wanted me to turn from my side to my back, and in that moment I
didn't care. He was so nice and encouraging anyway. He exclaimed
at some point during my pushing that I had "remarkable control!"
I'm not quite sure what that meant, since I was just doing precisely
what my body was telling me to do and not trying to "control"
anything, but whatever, I guess it was good to hear a compliment at
that time, whatever it meant!
I pushed Lucas out at around 11:00 am Monday, June 18th, without any
complications, and they handed him to me right away. A boy! I
guess all of my friends and family were right! We didn't know the
sex, but everybody around me insisted that they just "knew" I was
having boy. (I'm the only one who wasn't convinced of that!) He
was very healthy and so strong from the moment he was born. He
actually grabbed the side of the scale and almost pulled himself off
of it when they weighed him! He got a perfect 10 on his Apgar, and
the doctor exclaimed "Woah! that almost NEVER happens!"
In the end, I succeeded with my natural childbirth, and I know that
the hypnosis played a HUGE part in giving me the confidence to do it
and in keeping me comfortable in the earlier stages. However, I'm
not sure if it was the hypnosis or just my sheer determination that
got me through the 6 - 10 cm stage, and I felt like a bit of a
failure with the hypnosis during that part since I was in pretty
intense discomfort and since I seemed to actually NEED to tense up
to feel comfortable.What is interesting is that from the outside, nobody would have known that the hypnosis wasn't working rather well for me. The nurses were all so amazed, proud of me, and impressed, as they kept telling me. Word of my birth even made it to the
mother-baby unit, on an entirely different floor from labor and
delivery. When they dropped me off there, my new mother-baby nurse
exclaimed "oh my gosh, I heard about your birth--you're my hero!!"
And the doctor who attended the birth said I did an absolutely
remarkable job and said he'd love to meet the person who trained me,
as I just did sooo well. I told him how I felt about how I did, and
he said that he actually took a hypnosis for childbirth class, and
that it seems that the people who truly feel no pain are
extraordinarily determined in the moment to not feel the pain, but
that I did a great job.
Lucas has been a very happy, calm, healthy baby. He even started
sleeping through the night--from 9:30 pm until 7:00 am--before he
was 2 months old! Despite the intense discomfort I mentioned, I
will absolutely do Hypnobabies again for my next birth. I know it
was immensely helpful, and who knows what that last stage would have
been like without using the hypnosis at all? Plus, I feel that it
was the best thing I did for myself and my baby during the
pregnancy, as I was so calm, confident, and ready to experience
childbirth and meet my baby.