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Sairshe's Birth
FYI: I use the words labor and contractions because they didn't bother me. I had a hospital birth because I have Kaiser insurance and that was my only option. I did have a midwife, though, and the Kaiser hospital I chose to birth at is very natural birth friendly. My birth wasn't entirely unmedicated but Hypnobabies was awesome and really helped me throughout my pregnancy and during my birth experience!
My birth story starts with me feeling like I was never going to have a baby! I was only a few days past my guess date but all my friends and family thought the baby would be born early. I guess their opinions really affected me because when my guess date came and I hadn't had the baby yet, I was surprised. My husband was also really impatient about the baby coming and would ask me every morning if she would be born that day. It was sweet that he was so excited but it didn't help me be patient! I was also reading a lot of birth stories and was hearing so many of you write about prodromal labor and losing your mucus plug and all those signs that the baby will be born soon. I wasn't experiencing any of that and was hoping that I would be one of those women whose birthing time would just begin without any advance "warning." That's exactly what happened!
On Friday, June 1, I was 2 days past my guess date and had an appointment with my midwife. He stripped my membranes but he'd done it the previous week as well so I wasn't too hopeful that it would start anything. I had some cramping and bleeding that morning from my membranes being stripped but that stopped in the afternoon.
I fell asleep on the couch that evening and woke up around 10 and got ready to go to bed. I went to the bathroom and noticed some blood on the tissue. I thought it could be bloody show but then thought that maybe it was just from my membranes being stripped. I got in bed and a few minutes later felt like I had to pee again. That wasn't too unusual but when I went, there was more blood on the tissue and I stated to let myself believe that it was really bloody show. As I got back in bed, I felt a contraction that was very different than the braxton hicks I'd been having. I had been having a lot of really strong braxton hicks contractions for months and being a 1st time mom, I wasn't sure how I'd know the difference between them and "real" contractions. Would they really feel different? Yes!! I stayed in bed through a few more contractions and decided that these were really different and I was in labor! I waited a few more minutes before waking up my husband and telling him that I thought the baby would be born soon. It was about 11 pm by now and I just felt like sitting on the toilet. I sat there for a while and then decided that it would be good to try to sleep. I only spent a few minutes more in bed and realized that I wasn't going to be able to sleep.
The contractions felt really close together and were pretty uncomfortable. I started to freak out a little that I wouldn't be able to do this but then reminded myself that I had been practicing for months and I just needed to focus. I got up and started listening to the birthing day affirmations and really relaxed and felt calm again. Mike got up soon after and started timing my contractions. They were about a minute long and 2-3 minutes apart. This was about 11:30 and I was surprised that they were so close together so soon. I alternated between sitting on the toilet and on the couch while Mike made brownies and we finished typing up our birth plan. It was silly that I was past my guess date and hadn't done it but I'd talked it all over with my midwife and I was procrastinating actually typing it up.
At some point I threw up and felt like I should start thinking about going to the hospital. Mike called and the l&d nurse said I should drink a big glass of water and then come in. I drank a bunch of water and immediately threw it back up. Yuck. We got to the hospital around 3 or 3:30 am. The nurse hooked up the monitors and then sat with us and read through the birth plan. It turned out that she knew someone who teaches hypnobirthing and she thought our plan was great and said "I like you guys already. You're going to have a good birth." It really set the tone for my entire hospital experience. I was still listening to the birthing day affirmations and the on-call midwife was really interested in what I was listening to. I felt really comfortable and supported.
She checked me and I was 3 ½-4 cm dilated, 1 cm more than I had been that morning at my appointment so things were progressing! I got my 1st dose of penicillin because I was GBS positive and the midwife recommended IV fluids because I had thrown up all the water I'd tried to drink and I agreed. I spent a lot of time in the rocking chair and really was pretty comfortable. I kept listening to the birthing day affirmations and that really helped me stay relaxed. The pregnancy affirmations were my favorite part of the Hypnobabies program so I just stuck with what I knew worked for me. Mike was really great. He used the relax cue and put his hand on my shoulder during intense contractions. The peace cue was never very effective for me. At some point I started thinking of Kerry saying "with every breath you are deeper and deeper relaxed" and I started saying "deeper and deeper relaxed" over and over during contractions. That pretty quickly got shortened to "deeper and deeper" and Mike chanted that with me a lot. When things started to get more intense, I asked to get in the tub. The hospital only has 1 tub and it was in another room. I spent quite a while in the tub and it felt really nice to lean against the side and let my belly float in the water. I turned off during contractions and still felt pretty comfortable, though things were definitely getting more intense. During one contraction, I heard the nurse come in and ask Mike if I had my affirmations with me and suggested that I listen to it again. I had left my mp3 player in the other room so I didn't have it but it was nice to know that the nurse noticed that it did help me. After a while I started to get too warm in the water and I wanted to listen to Hypnobabies some more so I got out of the tub.
I listened to the easy 1st stage track since I hadn't listened to it yet but was too distracted to really hear it. When it ended, I realized I hadn't really listened to it so I started it over. Looking back, I should have kept listening to the affirmations since they had really been helping me. I started to lose focus at this point because I started doing what I thought I "should" do instead of listening to my body and doing what I knew worked. After the second time through the easy 1st stage, still not able to focus on it, I didn't listen to any more Hypnobabies tracks. My husband and I lead a home church and all of our friends had given us a book of messages they'd written for us giving us encouragement, advice and their support of us and their excitement to have a new baby in our community. Mike read the messages to me and they were great to hear. They really made me feel loved and supported and were very encouraging.
Eventually the intensity of the contractions became overwhelming and I started asking for drugs. I don't remember this, but Mike says that while I was in the tub I asked for drugs too but he ignored me then. Because of a shift change, I had a new midwife. 2, actually. Sharon and Diane, who was still in training. Diane came in and checked me and I was 8 ½ cm dilated. She suggested getting in the shower but since I had recently been the tub, I didn't want to get wet again. She had me get up and lean against the counter. I started feeling a little pushy and with each contraction, I would sink into a deep squat. I did this through several contractions and then decided that I really did need something. The contractions were double and triple peaking and I wasn't getting any break in between. Instead of trying to relax in the short breaks I had, I started anticipating and dreading the next one starting so I was tense and starting to get panicky. I got a low dose of something (I don't remember what it was) through my IV line. It helped me relax through the contractions until I was really ready to push about 45 minutes later.
Pushing was really intense for me. I used the squat bar and Diane told me to "breath the baby down" which was comforting because that's the phrase Hypnobabies uses. I didn't feel like my pushes were doing anything but she assured me they were. There was some meconium in my water so Diane had an OB come in for the delivery. She started telling me to push with a little more force and I did but I still felt like it wasn't doing anything but then I felt the baby crowning. I could feel myself stretching during contractions as the baby's head moved down, then I would rest and feel my body get used to that degree of stretching in between contractions. I was able to really relax between contractions and Mike gave me sips of red raspberry leaf tea with honey and wiped me off with a cold cloth since I was really hot. It felt really nice. Diane applied warm compresses and oil to my perineum. Everything was going really well but then something changed. Things were getting a little urgent but I really couldn't focus on the conversations that were going on around me, only on pushing and listening to Diane. I didn't believe my baby was really coming until I saw Diane put a gown on and the nurse started bringing in towels and other equipment. That was an amazing moment! My baby was really about to be born! I heard the OB say that she wanted the baby out in the next push. Diane didn't say anything to me but I could sense the tension and I really wanted the baby out too! So I gave a big push and out came my baby! I had a quick glimpse of her and the OB rushed her out of the room and Mike followed. The baby warmers are kept out in the hall because there isn't space in the rooms. Just as they were going out the door, I heard her cry. I was pretty hysterical at this point because I didn't know what was wrong and no one had even told me that my baby really was a girl. I had to ask! I found out that during contractions her heart rate was dropping really low and combined with the meconium in the water, there was some concern. It seems like they had my baby out in the hall forever but Mike says it wasn't as long as it seemed to me. The nurse went out to check on her for me and said she was fine and I heard Diane express surprise that they were keeping her out there so long. I just cried and asked for my baby. It was a pretty scary time for me. Finally they brought my perfect little girl back and no one took her from me until a few hours later when I finally asked for her to be weighed. I had a 2nd degree tear because after I pushed out her head, her shoulders were a little stuck so the OB reached in and stretched me a lot to get the baby out so I needed a lot of stitches. That wasn't very fun.
The next day Diane visited me and apologized for the scary end to my birth experience. She said that the OB had to be there because she was still in training and Sharon, the other midwife, was catching another baby at the same time I was giving birth. She said that the OB hadn't read my birth plan and didn't know how important it was to me to have the baby stay with me. She said that if Sharon had been able to be there, they would have kept the baby in the room longer to get her to breathe and since she was breathing by the time the OB got her to the door, it's likely she would have been fine staying in the room. She acknowledged that the OB's approach was really different than that of the midwives and apologized that my baby and I didn't get the treatment at the end that I wanted, and that I should have gotten. She also told me that she was really impressed with the way I handled the entire birthing experience and that I only pushed for about 40 minutes and did a great job. I think she thought I was traumatized by the birth because of my hysteria at the end when my baby was whisked away and she wanted to make sure that I felt good about the experience. It was really nice of her to tell me all that and I got a healthy, beautiful baby and that's all that really matters!
Sairshe Dianne was born on June 2 at 10:30
am, after 11 hours of labor. She was 8lbs, 13 oz and 22 inches long.
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