Avariella’s Birth

As a little background, I started the Hypnobabies home course at 28 weeks. (Interestingly, the day I started the course was the day I stopped having "morning" sickness.  Not a coincidence!)  My guess date was July 25.  This was my first baby.

On Monday, July 18, 2005, at exactly 39 weeks, I woke up peeing on myself. Or at least, that's what I thought I was doing. It was 6:15 am. I thought, well, just when I thought pregnancy couldn't get any worse - I'm 34 years old and I just wet the bed. And then I thought, hey, wait a minute, I'm awake and I'm still peeing. THAT'S NOT PEE!!! I stood up and a whole bucket of fluid gushed onto the side of the bed and floor. Uh oh.

Shook Joal (DH) and told him my water broke. THAT woke him up in a hurry! I got up and consulted the Hypnobabies course booklet again on what to do. Since Kerry said it doesn’t have to be an emergency, I just took my temperature (normal) and we went back to bed. I lay there, waiting to feel some pressure waves, but nothing really happened. I’d experienced no indications that my baby would be coming soon, and now this. How odd! Finally, I gave up on sleep and got up and puttered around, making some brownies for the nurses, calling work, calling my parents and Joal's parents. I thought my mom might choke when she heard – she couldn’t believe we were so calm! I kept taking my temperature, like the course said, but I felt fine and had no indications that anything was wrong. Fluid kept leaking and I did pass a little pink mucus, but nothing major. Joal got up and made me some breakfast. My big fear was going to the hospital too early and starving to death! After a couple of hours, we loaded up the car with my many bags and headed toward the hospital. I finally started feeling a few light pressure waves, but they were hit and miss, sometimes 5 minutes apart, sometimes 15. Nothing I couldn't handle. We stopped at Pizza Inn and had buffet for lunch. I tried to gorge myself for my last pregnant meal!  In retrospect, I’m grateful I did that, as I didn’t eat again for another 24 hours.

When we got to the hospital and I told the nurse I wasn't there for an induction, but for labor, she smirked at me and sort of laughed. Clearly, I didn't look like any laboring mom she'd seen before! In fact, I felt pretty darn chipper and excited. I had absolutely no fear. Once they got the message that my water broke, I was whisked upstairs to triage. The nurse in L&D didn't really believe my water had broken either. But she did the exam and took a slide of fluid. Without warning, she also checked my cervix for dilation. I was totally unprepared. OUCH. Note to self: next time someone shoves a finger through your cervix, make sure you have a chance to turn your light switch off!  Up until then, I hadn’t needed any of my hypnosis. I was only 1 cm dilated. The slide came back positive for ruptured membranes, so I was admitted immediately and given a room in the birthing center. My nurse read my birth plan and said she was on board.  I got a Hep lock (with my light switch off) and agreed to monitoring every hour. Joal and I settled in and waited. And waited. My sister and her husband came by to visit briefly, as did Joal’s parents. I was fine, just needing to pause every 10 minutes or so to concentrate through a light pressure wave. Nothing big. I was able to get up and move around, or sit in bed if I wanted. I still didn’t need my light switch. We waited some more.

At about 6, my OB came in and checked me out. I was ready this time. Light switch off, he checked my cervix again. 1 cm dilated, cervix firm and not effaced at all. 12 hours after my water broke, I wasn't even in labor! On a clock now, he spoke the dreaded P word. He was very respectful of my birth plan, though, and said that we could try other natural techniques briefly if we wanted, but based on my complete absence of any signs of labor and the time factor, Pitocin was the most likely and safest alternative. He strongly recommended it. After a brief consultation with Joal, we relented to the Pitocin. Darnit!!! At that point, I almost panicked. Who hasn't heard horrible induction stories?? Joal reminded me to go to my special place and I did a brief fear release. All better.

From 7 to 9 pm, things started changing. I started feeling my pressure waves much more intensely. Suddenly, I needed my light switch. Joal went to dinner with his parents, so Robin (DS) sat with me a while. I switched off and put on my birth guide CD and just laid there. Robin said later that the nurse said I was doing awesome. 9:00 pm things were really rolling. It was getting harder and harder to concentrate. I called Joal and told him to get his butt back to me. Robin's also pregnant, due in September, and a hypno-mom in training, and she was getting a little spooked by the intensity, so she bolted as soon as Joal got back. My doc came in also, to check my progress. I assured him things MUST be moving along. He did a quick check and told me ABSOLUTELY NOTHING HAD CHANGED. Still 1 cm.  In that moment, I wanted to cry. Up went the Pitocin drip and HERE CAME THE PRESSURE WAVES.

From 9 to 11 pm, after the Pitocin increase, I did OK. I kept my switch off, hummed through each pressure wave, held Joal's hand and let him feed me ice chips. At no point did I want to get off the bed. I was only comfortable laying on my right side. I only got up to go to the bathroom. The doctor asked that I wear the monitors at all times now, so Joal watched them and learned to interpret the numbers. He told me when the waves were peaking and when to start preparing for the next one. At about 11, I told Joal I was terrified that still nothing was happening, so the nurse did a quick check. 5 cm, 90% effaced! That was the second moment I wanted to cry. I couldn’t believe I had 5 more to go! My confidence really wavered, but everybody kept telling me how great I was doing, so we pressed on. From 11 to about 1:30 am was one of the toughest periods of my life. 5-8 cm was no picnic, people. I lost focus, didn't use my light switch like I should, and just hung on by brute force. The pressure waves were intense, long, and very frequent. Thank goodness Joal was there. He kept reminding me to relax, using the cues, and reassuring me that it was going great. When I told him I couldn’t do it anymore, he assured me that I WAS doing it and that my baby would be here soon. We just took them one at a time, like Kerry says.

All of a sudden, about 1:30 am, I felt a desperate urge to push. I told Joal, who told the nurse, who seemed utterly astonished. She did a quick check, said nothing, and then started dashing around, getting things together. She told me to resist pushing a few more minutes, as I had a lip of my cervix that wasn't dilated yet. Resisting the urge was the worst part of my birthing time. It was SO HARD. Dang near impossible, in fact. Finally, I apparently wasn’t making much progress on the lip, so the nurse said she'd help me.  She held the lip of the cervix back while I pushed the baby through. Doesn't THAT sound pleasant?? It actually wasn’t so bad. Pushing felt so wonderful! Once the baby's head got through, though, her heart rate went down. She called for the doctor and THAT'S when I got scared.

My OB was cool as a cucumber, though. He settled on the side of my bed, legs crossed, totally relaxed, reached right in and held my cervix open, and told me not to push through a couple of waves so the baby could rest and "catch up." Again, that was brutal. But it worked! The baby’s heart rate went up and we were in business again. I started pushing aggressively about 2:00 am. I just never could get the hang of pushing. My body was compelled to push, but I kept trying NOT to do the purple pushing that Kerry describes and breathe the baby out, but it just didn’t work for me. Every time I let air out, my power just evaporated. I could only make progress when I held my breath and bore down. Though I wanted to labor on my side, I could only move the baby when I was on my back. I didn’t feel strong enough to try other positions. It was very frustrating. At 3, I was reaching exhaustion and the baby still wasn't out. She was close - Joal and the doctor could see the top of her head - but I couldn't sustain my push enough to get her out. Casually, my doc mentioned vacuum extraction. HELLO ADRENALINE!!! (In retrospect, I think he said it just for that effect. Joal said he never made a move to use the extractor. I think he knew I'd get her out with that prompt.) A few pushes later, she was crowning. Still, I struggled to get her out. I felt the ring of fire and I was afraid I was tearing. The nurse took my hand and put it on the baby's head and said, “There’s your baby – now PUSH HER OUT!!” I could feel her!!!! I gave it everything I had. Mid-push, the doctor told me there just wasn't enough room. He was supporting my perineum, but I could feel a tear going up into my urethra. He was poised with scissors and said it would only take a tiny snip and she’d be out. I waffled a moment or two, and then, Demon Woman took over and said, “SNIP IT!” One tiny clip and she was out. 3:32 am Avariella Dare LaMonica was placed on my chest. 6 pounds even and 19 inches long! It was the most amazing, incredible moment of my life. I couldn’t take my eyes off of her!  She was so tiny, so perfect. She stayed with us for about 45 minutes while the doctor delivered the placenta and stitched up the snip, which turned out to be only about a centimeter long. I felt absolutely nothing but the breathing and coos of my precious, beautiful baby. She cried for all of about 2 seconds after delivery and then checked us out thoroughly. I've never been so in love. She was alert, interested, and happy. An hour later, after a clean up and newborn procedures, Ava breastfed like a champ. Finally, we all slept.

My birthing time wasn't pain or intervention free. It was intense, terrible, and absolutely wonderful, all at the same time. I experienced some pain between 5 and 8 cm, when I wasn't focused or using my Hypnobabies. That's not a coincidence. I did have to have Pitocin, and I did accept a small episiotomy. But I absolutely can't imagine where I would've ended up if it weren't for Hypnobabies. First, I entered this birthing completely fear free. I was SO excited instead! Even when it got tough, I never felt unprepared or unsure of what to do or what was happening. I made the decisions and Joal and I totally managed the experience. The nursing staff and the doctor gave recommendations and they respected our decisions throughout. The only moments I felt fear or panic was when the baby was in distress. (Oh yeah, and when he said "Pitocin" and "vacuum extraction".) As difficult as it was, I never asked for medication, nor did I receive any. The staff at the hospital totally respected my wishes. They were supportive, quiet, encouraging, and incredibly helpful throughout my birthing time. Without Hypnobabies, I really don't think I would've been able to avoid the cascading interventions described in the course. As it was, I used the medical alternatives that made sense and my body did the rest. The best part, though, was the condition of my baby. She was as bright eyed and bushy tailed as if she'd just waken from a nice, long nap. She barely cried. She was interested in us. I was able to be interested in her. I was able to get up, just about an hour after she was born and go to the bathroom and change my sweaty nightgown and change my wet bed sheets and snuggle up with her for our first feeding. It was completely magical. My birthing time wasn't particularly quiet or effortless, but it was gentle and meaningful and I was present for it in a way I have rarely been in my life. I am so, so grateful to have had this experience. It was so incredibly worth it. And I am so incredibly in love with my new baby.

One last thought. For those other hypno-moms in training who have a reluctant spouse, let me give you hope. Joal wasn't a convert through my training. He read the scripts to me occasionally, used the right vocabulary and was supportive. But he wasn't exactly a zealot, either. I even posted to the list in frustration about him saying he was going to ask for pain medicine if it got bad. But when the time came, he was my saving grace. Joal unequivocably got me through that toughest period. He told me over and over again to remember my training. He told me I could do it. And he coached me through her crowning and birth. I never wanted him out of my face, or to stop touching me or any of the rotten things you hear other moms say about their husbands during labor. I wanted him right there, holding my hand, giving me my cues, and helping me focus. I couldn't have done it without him. Have faith in your hypno-guardian. Mine was everything.

Three weeks later, Ava's the most placid, quiet, easy baby of all time. She almost never cries, sleeps like a dream, and is cuddly and loving. Her pediatrician says I’m his new poster mom for breastfeeding.  She gained over a pound in two weeks! I absolutely love breastfeeding. I'm so happy I was able to give her the calm, medication-free birth I wanted. She deserves the best. I know it’s the best introduction to the world I could’ve given her. I’m ready to do it all over again! And did I mention I'm in love?

Laura