Lucas' Birth

It was my official due date and all day I was incredibly annoyed that Lucas hadn't shown up
yet!  I thought for sure I would have him by my due date but by 4:00 in the afternoon and
no pressure waves, I was sure he wasn't coming.  At about 6:15 I started feeling pressure
waves.  I didn't want to get too excited yet, but hoped that this was finally it.  The waves
weren't painful at all but after an hour I realized that they were getting more intense and
that I really liked turning my light switch off during each one.   I actually felt more than
just back pain this time, so I was excited and hopeful that I would not have back labor like
I had with my first son.

At about 7:30 I called the midwife to let her know that things had started and she should
be prepared to meet us at the birth center sometime that evening.  She said to call back
whenever I was ready to go.  I had my husband finish packing our bags and arranged to
leave our son with some friends.  At this point I thought I had hours ahead of me, but
thought we should get our son situated so that I could actually relax and listen to my
CD's.   My husband left to drop off our son and I lay on the bed on my side, just as I had
practiced every single day.

By the time my husband was home I felt like it was time to go to the Birth Center.  My
waves were about 2-3 minutes apart and lasting a minute.  Not painful, but definitely
getting more intense.  I had a difficult time relaxing while standing/walking to the car.  I
just wanted to lie on my side!  Once in the car I was fine and had a pleasant 15 minute ride
to the birth center.  I was so glad that it was nighttime because we pulled right up to the
door and walked into the room I had chosen.

I told them to get the water in the Jacuzzi tub and I lay on the bed on my side. The
midwife checked me and said I was only a 4.  I was so mad and got very upset because I
was a 4 with my previous birth when I arrived and it went on for hours.  So in my head,
this was going to be hours long and I felt that I could not deal with hours at this intensity.
I should have ignored the measurement.  I was getting anxious for the tub to fill when I
should have just relaxed on my side.  Everything really was going quickly and I hadn't
stayed in one place for more than 15 minutes since my pressure waves began. I just
wanted to get situated so I could turn my light switch off.

At this point my waves were much more intense and I was feeling pain of some sort.  Not
screaming pain, but I was REALLY uncomfortable.  I managed to get into the tub and found
it to be horrible. I was trying so hard to relax but couldn't let my body go limp because I
was afraid I was going to slide under the water.   And apparently my doula didn't realize
that I wanted HOT water.  It just felt lukewarm and yucky to me, like a stagnant pond or
something.  At this point things were REALLY intense and I was feeling pain when my
waves would peak. I was trying to hard to relax, tried to put my headphones in, but really
just wanted out of the dumb tub I had been SO excited to use.

My husband and doula were right there next to the tub, but I don't think they realized I
wanted out. I started shouting a bit, and wanted out of the tub. They both were trying to
get my to relax until I started climbing out.   At this point I told them I needed to throw
up, they grabbed a bucket and I emptied my stomach while trying to climb out of the tub.
I'm not really sure what time it was, but it had probably been an hour since we'd arrived at
the center.

I lay down on the bed on my side, and I finally felt like I could relax.  I think I would've had
much less pain had I just lain on the bed on my side from the moment I arrived.  The
waves were super intense and were painful at this point and I was quite sure that I had
hours to go.  If I would have known the baby would be out in minutes, I don't think I
would've felt as much pain.  I was stressing myself out by thinking about how much longer
I would be doing this.  And I'm surprised that I didn't connect the throwing up with
transition.  Anyway… I just found myself humming through each wave, completely
oblivious to what was going on around me.  At one point I even started humming a song
that is really comforting to me.

After several waves on my side on the bed I started feeling a huge urge to push.  But I just
lay there and fought it because I thought for sure I had hours to go.  Silly!  After a bit I
realized that I just couldn't hold back and had to push. I told them I was pushing
something and to please check me.  The midwife ran over and I think they were all
shocked to find that I was pushing the bag of water out.  It popped and I felt all the water
run all over the bed.  At this point things were great though.  I did feel some pain, but it
wasn't bad at all.  It was so great to push!  I had been holding back unnecessarily for a
while.  I pushed again and felt his head come out.  I did feel the "ring of fire" but it just
stung, nothing more.  Lucas' head came out with the membrane over his head, so they
peeled it back and I asked if I was done.

Not quite, his shoulders were stuck a bit.  The midwife reached in and did something and
one push later he was out.  His head was perfectly round and it had only been 4 hours
since my first pressure wave.

I was really disappointed at first, thinking that my hypnobabies practice hadn't worked at
all because I felt some pain.   Apparently the midwives told my husband that it was the
most peaceful birth that they had seen.  I feel really happy about how everything went
despite the "pain" and know that hypnobabies helped me to relax.  I am NOT a relaxed
person in general, so to have that kind of intensity and pain and have someone talk about
how peaceful I was meant that it really was working!  I really didn't want the earphones in
my ears, but just wanted to guide myself.  I thought it would be the opposite.

If I had ignored the fact that I was only dilated to a 4 and never stepped foot in that
lukewarm tub, I think that I would've been much more relaxed and possibly felt only
pressure.  I used my peace cue a lot, and said "open, open, open" several times as well.  I
have recovered much faster than with my epidural birth and will use hypnobabies again if I
have more children.