(pitocin given)
I was to get
up at 6am that morning to call into the hospital to let them know that I was
scheduled to be induced and what time would be good for me to come in, I slept
surprisingly well that last night but admit that 6am came way to fast. The alarm
went off at 5:55, I got up and turned it off and then laid in bed “5 more
minutes I told myself” as I laid there I felt Seamus kick and enjoyed the last
few minutes of quiet that I had with him while he was still inside me, such
precious and sweet memories I have of those last few minutes with him, as I got
up the clock said 6:00 on the dot, what timing I thought. I called the hospital
and let them know I was coming in and was told to arrive at 7:15 am and to not
eat or drink anything and to bring proof of ID and my insurance card. “Will do,
wont do” I said and then hung up ~ I tried to get a bit of milk and a granola
bar down before we left in hopes that the IV I was to get would be easier to put
in with some food in me but I ended up throwing it up.
I woke up ger next and told him that we needed to be in by 7:15 and that we had
to get up now to get ready, I wanted to take a shower and we had a few bits and
pieces to get into the car, I also wanted to wake up the boys to say goodbye and
to let Amy know what time we had to leave, that last hour went by very quickly I
was at the hospital before I knew it ~ I was a ball of nerves and the sad part
is I was almost more afraid of that stupid IV than I was of the contractions!
When we arrived they had me sign a bunch of papers, I met the L&D nurses and was
told to change into the gown that you wear at the hospital. Laura arrived
shortly before this it was nice to see her we spoke a bit as she sat in a chair
next to the bed ~ my mom showed up shortly after this as well so it seemed the
show was on the road. Laura asked how I was feeling and I explained that I was
nervous but that I was doing okay, really I don’t think I was doing so hot for
awhile I was pretty scared and unsure how the nurses were going to be.
I noticed that the nurses were getting ready to set up my IV when it looked as
though I wasn’t going to get the Hep Lock so I asked them if I could get a hep
lock and they said something along the lines of them putting me on pitocin, this
is when I mentioned that I thought Danielle was going to start me off with
cytotec so they said that they would call her and clear things up, they were
very nice about it which relieved me. Once they got a hold of her they came back
in and said that I was right and that they were putting in an order for the
cytotec and that it should arrive shortly. At some point during all of this Kay
the nurse did an internal exam, it was a bit uncomfortable her fingers were
short and she had to really reach up in so her knuckles kind of dug into me but
it was over with quickly ~ I was 1 to 2 cm dilated I can’t remember how effaced
I was although I know I was still quite thick and she said I was more anterior
than she thought which was good.
The nurses puttered in and out of room for a bit doing what they needed to do,
there was also a new nurse who was being mentored by Kay she wasn’t new to
nursing though just the hospital so a lot of what she was doing was explaining
to her where things were and how things were done there. Every now n’ again the
blood pressure cuff would go off, I hated that thing it squeezes my arm so tight
that I swear that alone gives me high bp, however soon after all of this they
came in and tried to set up the IV I knew it probably wouldn’t be easy it seems
anytime I need one I have to be poked several times b/c my veins are small, deep
and they roll. I was poked once on my left wrist and then again on my forearm I
wanna say on my right hand too but I can’t remember, they then called in another
nuse, Pat, she was fantastic!! Very energetic and outgoing and funny which is
what I think we needed at this point I remember feeling very scared and unsure
and I didn’t want to be poked again if I didn’t have to be ~ she spoke to us for
awhile and promised me that if she felt she couldn’t get it in she wouldn’t try,
I was looking at my mom and talking when I felt her poke my hand but as she was
doing so she was talking away, I remember the initial poke and then she was very
slow in getting the needle in and then fast getting the actual IV in she was
amazing, she had a real touch I think it was then that I started to calm down a
bit.
Pat stayed around for a few minutes longer talking about St. Patrick’s Day and
how her family celebrates it and how they have relatives and such in Ireland,
they were from county Cork. We gave her some Irish candy that we’d bought the
night before at the British Pantry and she went on her way ~ at this point I was
feeling a lot better and the other nurse Kay shared with me that her daughter or
daughter in law had also done hypnobirthing with her last baby and how neat it
was, it was wonderful hearing this as I felt that b/c she understood how it went
she would also be supportive of our choices.
Laura decided to do a hypnobabies script with me before things got going, my
nerves were a bit on end and I was still feeling unsure of things and we thought
this might help, we put on the Heart of Reiki music and she began reading, I
also remember that at some point the lights were dimmed and the nurses began to
whisper this was wonderful as things that I had asked to happen in my birth plan
were being played out without me even having to ask, this meant so much to me!
Laura’s voice is also very calming and easy to listen to and because of this I
fell into a deep relaxation very quickly and very easily, I could hear the
nurses coming and going quietly but nothing more. By the time she finished it
was close to 10:30am and the order came in for my cytotec I was actually looking
forward to the contractions at this point and welcomed them as I was anxious to
have Seamus here, at 10:45 Kay put in the first dose, actually I believe it
might have been her assistant, the one she was mentoring. We were on our way!
Shortly after this Danielle came in, I was so happy!! It was great to see her
face, she gave me a big hug and asked how I was doing, we chit chatted for a bit
and got an update as to what was going on, she then left to get some things
done. I had to lay there for about an hour before I could get up which wasn’t so
bad as I didn’t feel anything at this point, I could tell certain things were
starting to happen but nothing big.
After the hour was up I decided to get out of bed to see if we could get things
going, I walked the halls with Geremy and Laura and remember thinking how funny
it was that *I* was walking the halls, I had always heard of women doing this to
get things going or seeing it on tv shows about birth and here I was walking the
halls myself! Why this caught my attention I’m not sure but it did ~ after doing
that for a bit it became boring and nothing much was happening so we went back
to the room where my mom and the nurses were, I sat on the birthing ball for a
bit too and I did some hypnobabies. Before we knew it it was 2:30 and the 4
hours was up, it was time to place in another dose of the cytotec so I got
hooked back up to the monitors and got back into bed, Danielle administered the
2nd dose and said that I was a bit more soft, still pretty thick and between a
stretchy 2 and 3 cm dilated so things WERE happening they were just taking their
sweet time.
Things began to pick up a bit more with the 2nd dose although nothing that was
unbearable, I laid in bed for the hour and chit chatted with Laura, Danielle,
Geremy and my mom, the nurses for the most part kept out of the room, Kay would
come in every now n’ again to check the monitor paper and to see how my bp was
doing, which of course my bp was wonderful the entire time! This was a saving
grace though as it was a concern I had that might make me end up with an
epidural but so far so good!! We also joked with Kay that I had to deliver by
3pm as that was when her shift ended, I was also secretly hoping that I’d
deliver close to then as I was nervous that the next nurse might not be so nice
~ unfortunately 3pm rolled around and went and still no baby.
My birthing waves started to pick up a bit, I walked the halls again for awhile
and sat on the birthing ball this time I propped myself up against the bed with
pillows I decided to listen to my hypnobabies to see if I could get things going
and to get myself into a more regular pattern with the waves and to get them a
bit stronger ~ I listened first to the birthing day CD and noticed that it was
really helping and quite quickly, I had my head propped up against the pillows
and I tried to relax my body as best I could, I actually found the birthing ball
to be very comfortable, I had a warm blanket over my back the IV was making me
cold and the hospital gowns leave a lot to be desired for your backside.
After sitting on the birthing ball for awhile I decided to get up and move
around for a bit, I took a sip here and there of the propel berry water that I’d
brought to keep my sugars up, I had also been chewing on ice chips throughout
the day ~ they have the BEST ice chips their very soft and easy to chew and I
had been craving ice chips the entire pregnancy so it was great to have them. I
remember bits and pieces of conversation between everyone, politics, birthing,
birthing choices, home birth, midwives you name it. Danielle, Laura and my mom
were able to keep quite busy with most of those conversations, at some point
during all of this Geremy got me the rocking chair I think Laura thought it
would be a good idea so we changed chairs around as my mom had been sitting on
it. I found for some reason the rocking chair really got my birthing waves
going! I’m not sure why but it worked really well, I also had Laura read me
another hypnobirthing script this one was more about opening up, visualizing my
birth and getting my body to start birthing ~ there was a part in it about
facing any fears that I had and letting them go I found that to be very helpful
as I was still feeling a bit uneasy about things although what exactly it was I
was still having a hard time pin pointing.
I can’t remember exactly when Danielle came in with an orange but it was
sometime around now, she asked if I was interested in a slice and I definitely
was, so she cut it up and set it next to the counter where I was sitting ~ I
don’t think she ate a single slice so I think she cut it for “her” incase anyone
asked but had it there for anyone who was wanting some, it was a great thing to
eat it helped fill my stomach but not so much that it would be a problem.
Danielle also teased about the knife that she used as someone looked at her
funny in the hall when she was carrying it “Now you know the REAL secret of
midwives – this is how we get our moms to birth so quickly we show them the
alternative” she said and we all laughed.
A few hours had passed and I became quite nauseas because my heartburn was so
bad, I threw up a few times and felt really horrible, Danielle was so sweet she
wiped my neck and forehead with a wet cloth as I tried to get myself to calm
down, I felt really cared for when she did that. Laura was also there making
sure I was okay and was able to get me a bucket to throw up in, when I first
started throwing up I grabbed this large garbage can that was sitting next to
me.
After throwing up a few times b/c my heartburn was so bad and the tums wasn’t
touching it Danielle suggested I try this really sour lemon stuff that would
help, it actually tasted good! They thought I was crazy but I shared with them
that I love lemons and salt so this was great stuff! Much better than the tums
too – it came in a little brown cup and I had to swig it really fast, not sure
why I remember that but I do. It helped as well almost instantly it was nice not
to have heartburn for awhile and to not throw up as that made it even worse. I
began to contract a bit stronger at this point although they still weren’t
regular, they seemed to piggy back and then go away – I also remember looking at
the monitor and seeing that it almost never picked up the contractions but I
knew I was having them and we kept it going b/c it kept the nurses calm and it
also helps Danielle.
I spent some more time in the rocking chair listening to my hypnobabies, Laura
also did another script for me as I’d asked her to and as we began a male doctor
(GP) walked in curious as to what hypnobabies was, we all kind of looked at each
other as we found it a bit odd but we got to talking to him to explain what it
was, when Danielle came in she looked a bit confused too until she realized why
he was there and she chimed in with her thoughts as well, I later realized what
a great thing it was as hopefully we were able to educate him a bit more, I
believe this was his first year at the hospital as an intern.
At 6:30 or there abouts it was time to put in another dose of the cytotec,
Danielle had asked the doctor to step out and I was kind of glad for that as
even though I felt it was great that we were able to teach him a bit about
hypnobabies he also made me feel a bit uneasy. I couldn’t believe that the
entire day had gone by I also remember thinking that it was taking A LOT longer
than I had anticipated it taking, with the twins I arrived at 7am and had
delivered by 1:30pm but they also started me out with pitocin and my cervix was
more favorable. This time Danielle put her finger between the sac and my cervix
to loosen things up a bit, that hurt quite a bit but I also knew that it would
help, she kept saying sorry and tried to do it quickly. She mentioned at this
point that I was between 3 and 4 cm dilated so improving but slowly, she also
mentioned that Seamus still needed to turn his head a bit.
Danielle thought that perhaps we should start with the pitocin to get things
more regular ~ we weren’t on a time schedule necessarily but we also didn’t want
to get to the point where we had to be on one and it was a draw between vaginal
and c-section so I agreed ~ although I admit that as she (Danielle) left the
room to notify the nurse and get the bag for my IV I felt very nervous, I had
had pit contractions with Garrett and they weren’t very pleasant, it also meant
that my labor would progress a lot quicker so I had to really prepare myself for
this. When the nurse came in she had to flush my IV to make sure it was still
working, thank goodness it was! It stung a bit when she flushed the water
through but nothing too bad ~ they started the pictocin off at 3 (not sure what
3 was but I remember seeing that on the monitor). Admittedly I was also ready
for things to get going as we’d been there since 7am and I knew that everyone
else was growing tired so the mention of pit was a good one.
Once I was hooked up I went and sat back on the rocking chair, at first it
really wasn’t so bad ~ it was definitely giving me stronger and more regular
contractions almost instantly, the other thing it started to do was it made the
area where the IV was in sting I’m not sure why but I found it to be very
distracting thankfully it went away after awhile.
I’m not sure how long it was after I received the pitocin but I found that
rocking while in the chair made the birthing waves more intense so as one came I
would rock ~ still they were easy for me to breath through, I remember one
contraction that was stronger than the rest but it didn’t stay. I also spent
some time in the bathroom contracting on the toilet I felt like the pressure
from sitting there would help dilate me even more and every time I had a
contraction I would visualize my cervix opening up, it was here that I noticed
that I was beginning to lose my plug which excited me as it meant things were
starting to move even more and I was ready for them to move along. Before
leaving the bathroom I spent some time squatting while holding onto the metal
bar that’s next to the toilet in hopes of opening up my hips and helping that
cervix of mine along & to perhaps get more of the plug to come out.
Once I was back in the rocking chair I found that in most cases if I moved
around other than sitting on the rocking chair the contractions would peter out
or go away all together, so I spent most of my time rocking which I suppose
isn’t a bad thing as it kept me close to the monitors which kept the nurses
happy and probably Danielle too since it’s important to make sure that
everything is going okay due to the induction. It was also kind of nice to be
able to sit and relax while talking with everyone in the room, the lights were
usually dim and I had heart of reiki playing in the background, I had also
brought the sacred spirit music but for some reason that wasn’t doing it for me
so I had the reiki music going almost the entire time, it got to the point where
it became a comfort item and if it turned off I asked ger to put it back on
almost immediately ~ I felt like I could go into hypnosis easier/quicker while
it was playing.
While sitting in the chair it was suggested that I perhaps stand up and put a
leg onto another chair and rock back n’ forth to encourage Seamus to turn, I was
told that whatever leg felt more comfortable up to keep that one up so I stood
there and rocked back n’ forth for awhile hoping that he’d turn that little head
of his, I was a bit concerned that he’d not turn and that the delivery of his
head might be a difficult one so I was willing to do whatever I needed in order
to get him in the most favorable position for labor.
By
10:30pm
Danielle suggested that it might help to brake my waters ~ I was excited by this
and yet also quite nervous as I KNEW that once they were broken my contractions
would be more intense, possibly very intense and so I had to prepare myself for
this. What helped was that while I know Danielle wanted this she also left the
decision up to me, so I said okay but also let her know that I had to think
about it ~ so a few minutes later I said okay but that I needed to prepare
myself, I sat in the rocking chair for a bit longer grabbing up the nerve and
then I sat up and said “lets do it!’.
The actual process was easy ~ they set a bunch of towels and the plastic
absorbent sheets down on the bed for me to sit on ~ I thought it would be
painful but it wasn’t, a bit uncomfortable but that was only b/c she had a hand
up in me and had to stretch enough to get the amni hook in too, once the waters
broke I felt a warm gush of water a few times ~ “Nice and clear waters, that’s
great” Danielle said. Once my waters were broke I went to sit back on the
rocking chair, I had a few contractions almost immediately afterwards they
weren’t anymore painful than they had been but they were definitely more regular
and then they began to increase in strength within a few minutes ~ I would rock
to get them to gain strength and as I did this, with each contraction I began to
feel them more in my back and hips and things began to get uncomfortable, I
think I sat there through another few contractions and then I had to get up
because things were becoming too uncomfortable sitting there, as soon as I stood
up another contraction came and I had to lean on Geremy, they seemed to come
w/in a minute or so of one another at this point and it got to the point where I
had to let out a low moan to get through them.
As I leaned on Geremy I had my right hand in his pocket using it as a handle
when a contraction came on, I’d burry my head in his chest moving it back n’
forth ~ I also remember feeling the need to sorta squat as I was contracting I’m
not sure now that I think of it if I was doing it subconsciously to get him to
move down or if it felt better ~ if I were to guess now I’d have to say it was
more than likely a mixture of both reasons. I stood there for awhile dealing
with each birthing wave as it came, each time grabbing for Geremy and burying my
head in his chest ~ after some time I remember saying as I stuck my head in
Ger’s chest that I was scared, I think it was b/c I knew this was it and I had
no control over it other than how I choose to deal with it. I remember Geremy
and Laura both talking but I don’t’ remember what it was that they said, a lot
of encouraging words I know that and Laura would say certain cue words from the
hypnobabies to help me get through each birthing wave.
At one point I felt like I wanted to cry but I couldn’t, the emotions and waves
were too strong to allow it ~ I remember Laura really close to me on my left
hand side talking me through it, telling me to relax and saying certain cue
words “low moans Julia, keep your face relaxed and your forehead smooth” and as
I listened I was able to get through a wave w/out moaning or anything but it was
soo much work!! By the time the next one came I didn’t have it in me and it
seemed to really help to moan ~ thinking back now it truly is amazing what the
training from the hypnobabies can do and the mental strength it can give one if
they practice persistently throughout the pregnancy. I’m not sure of the time at
this point I sort of went into my own little world only remembering bits and
pieces, soon after this I mentioned how hot I was as I waved my face with my
hand to get some wind going, next thing I know there is a cold cloth on the back
of my neck and I believe someone was also putting one on my forehead, it felt
GREAT to have the cold against me until I had a birthing wave then it really
irritated me I think I got through 1 or 2 more waves and then I threw the cloth
off, once the wave was over I wanted it back on and like NOW I remember thinking
to myself how ridiculous I must look and yet my emotions were going nuts at this
point ~ I also mentioned to Geremy how ornery I felt and then thought to myself
“yes!! This must be transition, PLEASE let it be transition”.
The birthing waves continued on from here for awhile, I would rock my hips back
n’ forth and sort of slow dance in place with Geremy as I dealt with the waves
and then it felt good to just stand there and not move once the wave was gone,
and then dance as the waves came ~ I threw the towel a few more times and then
remember hearing Laura say “don’t throw the towel! Hand it to me” looking back
now it makes me laugh the poor thing probably had to go get it every time I
threw it b/c I’d want it back almost immediately after the wave was gone ~ I’m
not sure why I threw it other than the minute the wave came I was become
agitated and it felt good to throw it as it let out some of my ornery energy I
had. The next time a wave came I can’t remember if I handed it to her or if she
quickly grabbed it, I think it was the later.
After standing there laboring for awhile it was mentioned, I believe by Danielle
that perhaps we head to the bathroom so that I could sit on the toilet as that
might help to open up my hips ~ Laura also mentioned the shower and I thought
that was a good idea but at the same time it wasn’t something I wanted to do
either ~ either way I agreed and so we headed in there, at some point the
monitors were unhooked from me and I also remember Danielle trying to get them
on me I believe this was after my contractions were getting strong b/c I
remember not caring whether they were on or not and found them to be a bit
irritating, at one point I was standing next to the bed as she tried to get them
back on but they kept popping out of the band that was holding them and falling
to the floor so I believe at this point she gave in.
Once in the bathroom I sat on the toilet for awhile, the pressure of sitting on
the toilet was definitely there so I sat down for awhile but it got to the point
that the pressure was too much, I tried to visualize myself relaxing and having
my cervix open up like a flower but the pressure was sooo intense that it was
almost impossible not to tense up sometimes, it was here that I decided to stand
up and lean against Geremy again ~ since the stronger waves began he hadn’t left
my side, he was there constantly with me and for me he is so amazing. I asked
Danielle to cut the monitor band off of me as it was digging into my back, she
went and got some scissors and cut it off, that felt great! It was also at this
point that I began to feel panicked and I know the others could tell, there’s no
tip toeing around it these contractions hurt like hell and I was beginning to
feel like I couldn’t take it anymore and if I did I was sure to lose my mind ~ I
also feared that perhaps my body wasn’t working as it should and wasn’t dilating
as it should as I felt like I should be feeling the urge to push ~ I had it in
my head that when I began to feel ornery that I was in transition and that I’d
be delivering soon. I kept saying this is more than I can handle, this is just
too much and things like that ~ I know others were saying things to me and at
the time I found them to be helpful but I don’t remember everything that was
said.
Geremy was so wonderful though ~ he’d rub my head and whisper into my hear that
I could do this, that we’d been practicing this since we were 10wks along in the
pregnancy and that it would be okay ~ he also said other things but I just don’t
remember what it was, I do remember everything he said was full of love and
support he was just soo amazing throughout all of this. At some point I had a
particularly strong contraction that made me fall/lean against the wall as I
felt desperate to be done, to not feel the contractions anymore ~ once the wave
was over I continued to lay against the bathroom wall, then another wave came
right after the other ~ I tried to sit on the toilet and that was to painful so
I tried to stand up again I just didn’t know what to do with myself sometimes
other than do what I needed to get through each wave, they were extremely
intense at this point and I know that they were still turning up the pitocin.
After standing there for awhile it was mentioned that I try out the birthing
ball since the toilet wasn’t working and my legs were growing tired, I was also
feeling somewhat weak at this point ~ the birthing ball sounded like such a
great idea! They set it next to the shower in the room so I walked over and sat
down on it, I think one of those plastic pad thingy’s was on it, I sat down and
immediately had another birthing wave, it was here I remember feeling quite
scared that my body wasn’t doing what it should, it just felt like I was
birthing way to long and that perhaps something was wrong so I kept saying so,
the waves were coming one after another with *maybe* a minute between them often
times not even that, as I was going through one I’d rock back n’ forth on the
ball and try to bare down even though I didn’t feel the need to bare down I
wanted to in hopes that it would get things going and it did feel kind of good
to do so it must not be a bad thing!
At one point while having a wave I began to thrust my hips forward as I rocked
on the ball and as I did this a huge gush of waters came out of me and spilled
all over the floor I believe this happened at least twice, the next wave I began
to bare down quite strongly “Well that was different” I remember hearing
Danielle say which excited me, I thought “great!! Perhaps were close” but then
the next contraction was nothing like it! And I began to panic again, Laura was
near me at this point I think to my left when she mentioned that perhaps
Danielle check me and I thought that was a good idea too, I was hoping she would
tell me that the head was there, occasionally since I’d been in the bathroom I’d
reach down to feel if his head was there or if I could feel anything ~ much to
my disappointment I felt nothing but myself which discouraged me, I had it in my
head that I SHOULD be feeling something at this point! I don’t know why, my
thinking wasn’t logical at this point just desperate ~ when this was mentioned
Danielle said that she could but why was I wanting it “because I’m scared my
body isn’t doing what it should” I said and I know Laura knew I was feeling
scared as I remember her kind of backing me up, calmly Danielle said “Well I can
check you but you wont get what you want, I wont be able to tell you what you
want” she knew I was okay and she knew what I wanted her to tell me but she also
knew that that’s not what she’d be telling me and what she would tell me would
probably discourage me ~ I am glad she didn’t check me b/c she’s right unless
the news was “There’s a head” I would of fallen apart.
During all of this I opened my eyes to look around Geremy was in front of me,
Danielle and Laura were squatting down against the wall to my left and my mom
was out in the hall, I think a nurse was there sometimes as well. For the most
part though, once my birthing waves became strong my eyes were closed almost the
entire time, having them open left me feeling too exposed and open so I kept
them closed short of a few times here and there. I had a few more birthing waves
that were extremely intense, I would rock back n’ forth on the ball as I leaned
my head against the wall just praying that they would go away ~ they were soo
intense! I also took a look at the monitor and the pitocin was up to a 13,
significantly higher than the last time, I think the last time I took a peak it
was at a 9.
It was here that I began to notice a change in my waves ~ I would have several
minutes between a wave and then I’d have a very very intense contraction but it
was also quite short, I’d then sit there and wait and wait for another one to
come I almost feel as if this part was more torturous than the back to back
waves as it felt soo good not to feel anything I’d go very quiet and just sit
there and them bam! I’d have one ~ sometimes they even start slow so I knew what
was coming and I’d tense up whilst also trying not to so that I could keep the
discomfort down to a minimum “Go away!” I’d say sometimes, just wishing that
they really would go away! I remember sitting there on the ball knowing everyone
was looking at me and not really caring, I’d just stare at the floor exhausted
waiting for the next contraction to come.
“Why don’t we move” Danielle said, “where” I asked “Oh I don’t know closer to
the bed perhaps?” I sat there for a minute thinking “I dunno I’m kind of scared
to move” I said ~ I think the reason I spent most of my time in the rocking
chair or in the bathroom was because I wanted to stay away from the bed I was
afraid of it and I didn’t want to deliver on it ~ but then the next thing I know
I got up and started to head for the bed I remember Danielle saying “Wait up
girl! Geeze one minute you’re sitting there then the next your 10 steps ahead of
me” ending with a bit of a giggle ~ I had completely forgotten about the IV in
me and the Pole so she was scrambling to get it and keep up with me.
Once I reached the bed another birthing wave hit me so I bent over the bed and
as I did I began to bare down as hard as I could, I don’t remember feeling the
need to bare down and yet I was! I didn’t even say anything to anyone it was
like nature and instinct completely took over me and I was simply an observer of
this incredible miracle ~ The 2nd time I bore down I could feel him moving down
me and I began to get excited, I also don’t remember any pain at this point even
though I know I was contracting really hard ~ I began to bare down again and I
felt the ring of fire, in my head I thought “Oh my gosh!! This is the ring of
fire!! He’s coming!!!! – oohh it hurts I thought!” I think I might of even said
the last part out loud I can’t remember ~ the interesting thing is it didn’t
hurt it was really a bizarre thing to feel and I couldn’t stop pushing “Julia
slow down, slloww Julia Julia!! Slow down!!” I remember Danielle saying “I
can’t! I said” “I can’t!” as I kept on pushing ~ next thing I know Laura is in
front of me on my left hand side, close to my face saying “blow a thousand
candles Julia blow a thousand candles!” as she said this I pictured a row of
candles and I began to blow them, then I started to push again “slow Julia slow”
and again I mentioned “I can’t!” blow a thousand candles Laura said again and as
she said this my mom was on the other side of her next to my face, my eyes were
closed but I remember feeling them next to me “blow a thousand candles Julia” so
I’d blow and then I’d push and then I’d blow.
As I was doing this I could feel him coming out of me and I was trying to
picture what part of him was coming out of me but I couldn’t tell, it just felt
huge ~ but no pain! I might have been feeling it but I honestly don’t remember
ANY pain at this point even the ring of fire wasn’t there ~ I kept on pushing
and then he was out!! Oh my goodness he was out!!!! He squeaked a bit but didn’t
cry like I thought he would ~ My entire body collapsed onto the bed and I just
laid there breathing heavily and wanting to cry with relief and accomplishment,
again like so many other times during my labor I had the emotion of crying and
yet I couldn’t cry!
“I did it, I did it” I quietly said, my mom came up next to me crying and
putting her face next to mine saying “yes you did, you did it!” Someone, I
believe Danielle said do you want to see your baby?! But I just laid there I was
soo exhausted “Let her rest a minute” someone else said I remember thinking for
a minute that I didn’t care I just wanted to lay there for a minute to gather
myself and yet I did care I think it was just exhaustion talking. After a few
seconds I NEEDED to see him like right then so I stood up and tried to look
behind me but couldn’t so Danielle said for him to be passed through my legs so
I went to move and slipped on the floor as there was quite a mess, I think it
was a nurse who was standing next to me she grabed my arm “careful” she said, I
then opened my legs up and he was handed to me ~ all I remember was this mess of
baby and blanket and couldn’t make out much of anything other than that!
(laughs)
“Let go” I said as I grabbed onto him and pulled him up to me, I then laid down
on the bed and put him to my chest, thanking the stars that it was over and that
he was there and okay ~ I slipped my gown down and placed him against me they
then handed me some warm towels and blankets to cover him. My mom came up to me,
she was still crying she placed her head against mine “I’ve never experienced
anything like that” she said as she cried ~ again I felt the emotion of wanting
to cry but still couldn’t! I enjoyed having her near me though my mom is such an
amazing person ~ she said a few other things but I can’t remember what it was at
this point. I then noticed that Seamus’ leg was a bit tangled in the cord so I
untangled him and put him into a more comfortable position. “It looks like the
cord has stopped pulsating” Danielle said, she got the clamp and clamped the
cord down “Who wants to cut it? Mom? Geremy?” I said as I wasn’t sure if he was
wanting to cut it, looking back now it was a stupid question. Geremy came over
and cut the cord and then we wrapped Seamus back up.
I was still contracting, nothing too hard but enough that it still hurt and I
wanted them over with! I was wishing that the placenta would come out and NOW so
that I’d stop contracting, I’d give a push every now n’ again to see if it’d
come out, after about 20-25 minutes I think Danielle was thinking that she might
need to give me some more pit to get it out which made me nervous, she then
looked at the cord and pressed against my stomach “It’s normal for it take about
20 to 30 minutes to come out” I mentioned “yea it is but were getting close to
that now” she said. Then with a few pushes here and there it came out!! It felt
A LOT bigger than I had expected it to but it didn’t really hurt ~ just felt
really big n’ mushy, we all took a look at it and Danielle held up the sac part
“Here’s where his swimming pool was” she said, we all giggled a bit ~ I felt
GREAT! Once it was out I wasn’t contracting anymore which was soo nice! She also
mentioned that I didn’t even tear, not one little bit ~ just a skid mark is all.
That was such a cool thing to hear as I was soo afraid that I’d tear and yet
when I was delivering him that thought never came to me, thinking about that now
I’m kinda surprised it didn’t w/ as much time as I spent thinking about it while
pregnant.
Danielle noticed that some of the membrane was still in me and she needed to get
it out, this was somewhat painful as she had to reach up in and I remember her
snipping at a few things, I’m not sure what it was but it hurt, she kept
apologizing but I said it was okay ~ not much she could do about it anyways and
she was helping me, she then turned on this big ol’ light thing that came out of
the ceiling so that she could see better ~ finally after reaching up in a few
times, which was so NOT pleasant I was so sore ~ she was able to get it all out,
what a relief!! I was beginning to feel a bit worried.
“Do you want any pain pills” the nurse asked “Yes I would love some I said, I’m
ready to be a wimp now I’m done with pain for a bit!” I ate some crackers and
this carbonated apple drink to get something in my tummy and then I took a few
pain meds. I was feeling sooo good at this point, no pain, baby was out ~ I felt
“empty” inside but a good empty ~ Danielle gathered up the placenta and placed
it into a container so that we could take it home and then the room began to get
cleaned up by everyone ~ I just sat there and held onto Seamus, looking at him
in complete awe, it was here that Geremy said he was the one who caught him!! I
was soo excited to hear this!!! Oh my gosh he did it! He’s spoken about it in
the past but the closer we got the more unsure he became so I didn’t think he’d
do it ~ he was on cloud 9 as well and what a reward it was to be able to catch
him as I feel he labored just as hard as I did, he’s my hero he really is. “You
caught him!!!” I said ~ I don’t remember much of what he said but his face was
soo happy!
He explained to me that as he saw Seamus’ head come out Danielle took his hands
and placed them on Seamus and basically handed the job over to him without
really giving him a choice even though he had one, I think she knew him well
enough at this point and knew that he just needed a little shove in the right
direction and that he’d never regret doing it ~ I am soo grateful to her for
doing this! She is an angel. (In speaking with her the next day she mentioned to
me that when she saw his face as Seamus was coming out she couldn’t help but
allow him to catch him ~ she said his face was soo precious looking as he
witnessed this incredible miracle.)
The nurse then mentioned that she wanted to take him to be weighed, I asked for
her to wait a bit as I didn’t want him taken from me just yet I was still
getting to know my newest little son, Geremy was next to me as well on my right
hand side ~ looking at him in awe ~ A few minutes later it looked as though
Seamus was starting to root so I had had Geremy carry him over to be weighed so
that I could get him back to nurse, he weighed in at 5lbs 15oz and was 18 ½
inches long. I was surprised to hear that he was in the 5lbs range as everyone
was soo sure he’d be around 6lbs ~ my mom mentioned that as well, “he’s a little
peanut!” I seem to hit the 14 or 15oz range, Garrett was 6lbs 14oz, Liam was 5lb
14oz, Braiden was 5lbs even and Seamus now almost right in line w/ Garrett and
liam! No complaints from me though!
As Seamus was nursing I sat and spoke to Geremy and Laura for a bit, Danielle
sat down and filled out a birth form stating how things went “They always tease
me” she said “They say I write out a birth story instead of just putting the
stats, but it IS a birth story” that made me smile “I agree!” I said ~ She gave
Seamus a 9.9 on his apgars, very cool! “he came out wonderfully, nice and pink”
she said. Once she finished that up she had to head out, she had other things
that she needed to get done ~ in talking with her the next day I realized she
had another birth to attend! Busy busy!
The Nurses were cleaning up the room, I remember mentioning a few times “Man we
created quite a mess didn’t we!” (laughs) Looking at the floor I didn’t realize
how much fluid and blood there was when it came to giving birth, it was all over
the floor where I delivered him. When I had my others I was numb up to my gills
and on my back so everything went “neatly” into a bucket ~ this was the first
time I really saw and experienced natural childbirth. After about 2 hours or so
they put Seamus over in the cot, Geremy followed, they then had me get up ~ as I
tried to sit up for the first time my right leg started to Charlie horse in the
calf so I had to pull my leg up ~ crazy as it sounds I apologized to the nurse!
“sorry hold on one sec” (laughs) ~ once it was gone I stood up and was put into
a wheel chair where I was taken to the bathroom to clean up ~ once cleaned I was
put back into the wheel chair and we headed up to the post partum room where I
was to stay.
I was ANYTHING but impressed, the “bed” which was really this weird reclining
chair thingy that the dad was to sleep in was horrible looking and I’m sure just
as uncomfortable, it annoyed me b/c I knew how tired he was, we labored together
and I know it was exhausting on him I think they should of provided something a
bit more nice especially since they LIKE for someone to stay the night ~ the
room was also very very small but we made do! We sat in the room and spoke for a
minute, Geremy was just beyond thrilled about the fact that he’d caught Seamus
“It’s soo cool to know that I was the FIRST one to hold him” he said ~ I was soo
proud of him, he really is my hero! I don’t think I would of labored as well as
I did without him near me the entire time. He then headed out to the car to put
some stuff in it so that we weren’t crowded in the room and to make less to
carry out when we headed home.
We spent the next 3 days 2 nights there and then headed home Sunday Afternoon.