Ian

Ian's Birth

Scott and I stayed up past midnight just surfing the internet and watching TV. It was a pretty quiet evening. I decided to climb into bed at about 12:30 and listen to one of my Hypnobabies CDs. At about 1:00 a.m. I had to go to the bathroom again (ah, the joys of pregnancy). As I sat up it felt like my inner thigh was a little wet. Hmmm. Did my water break? Then I noticed there was a small wet spot on the carpet next to my side of the bed. We decided to call the hospital. They told us to call back in two hours if I noticed any more leaking. Instead of going back to sleep like we should have we put on an episode of "24". I was still having braxton hicks contractions but they were feeling a little stronger. I decided to bake some cookies for the nurses because I had a feeling this would be THE day. Then I started listening to my Hypnobabies CD's trying to prepare myself mentally for what lie ahead. If this was the beginning of my birthing time I knew it was going to be a loooong day, especially with this being our first baby. We called the hospital back at 3:00 a.m. and told them I was still leaking a little fluid. They wanted us to come in right away just to check. We packed up all of our stuff hoping that we would not be returning home without a baby. We dropped Kinohi off at doggie daycare and headed off to the hospital.

We arrived at about 4:00 a.m.. The nurse hooked me up to a machine that read my pressure waves and baby's heartbeat. I could feel the pressure waves getting stronger but they did not make me feel uncomfortable. Scott pointed out that the monitor was not showing any pressure waves, go figure. The nurse tested me twice to see if my water had broken but she said that it hadn't. A doctor came in to check on me and ended up adjusting the monitor on my belly, saying it was too high up. The monitor immediately began picking up on my waves. They ended up sending us home since they didn't think my water had broken and since my waves were not consistent or strong enough. If the monitor had been in the right place to begin with they would probably have seen that my waves were indeed becoming more consistent. Looking back it was a blessing in disguise. I'm glad I wasn't admitted into the hospital right then because I planned on laboring at home for as long as possible.

At about 7:00 a.m. we finally got home. We both hop in bed hoping to get some sleep. I continued to listen to my Hypnobabies CDs and worked at keeping myself focused and relaxed. By this point I could not sleep because the pressure waves were a little more intense. I did not feel any pain, just tightening, as I stayed completely relaxed both physically and mentally. I was having to breathe through the waves and with each one I focused on holding my baby in my arms. By 8:15 a.m. I decided to wake up Scott so that he could help me time the waves. They were getting more intense and uncomfortable, but still no pain. I was contracting between every 1 to 5 minutes at this point. I knew this was my birthing time and that my body needed nourishment. It had been about 10 hours since I last ate and I knew once we got to the hospital they would not let me eat anything. I had only been feeling uncomfortable for the last hour so I figured I was still in the early stages of our birthing - I better eat now while I can. Scott made me scrambled eggs and toast. I tried to choke down a few bites between pressure waves but at this point it was getting more difficult. The waves were back to back and were not letting up in between. It felt like I was having one very long wave with many peaks. This made it difficult for me to stay relaxed like I had been the rest of the time. Scott tried to help me by giving me cues we had learned in Hypnobabies. It helped a little but I was wearing down mentally. I was convinced I was only a few centimeters dilated at this point since I hadn't been uncomfortable for that long (a half-hour at most). It was at this point that I was questioning whether or not I could do it (as it turned out I was in the transformation stage). The pressure waves were really intense and were requiring so much focus and concentration. I didn't think I could remain this focused for hours to come. I continued to sit on my birth ball and lean over the couch. I remember letting out long moans since it helped me breathe slowly and focus on something other than the intensity of what I was feeling.

At about 9:30 a.m. I told Scott we needed to get to the hospital NOW. I seriously didn't think I would make it because I couldn't walk or think straight. I tried my best to stay relaxed and use my Hypnobabies techniques but I began to panic a little when I thought of how long it would be before getting to the hospital. Just the thought of walking to the elevators (we live in a highrise) and getting in our truck seemed like too much work. We got in the elevator to go to the car and there was a lady in there. She asked, "oh, when are you due?" Apparently I looked too relaxed for it to be the "big event". I find that interesting because my mind seemed to be running frantic. Everything from this point was almost "out of body." As soon as we got in the car I told Scott he needed to hurry...I could not sit comfortably (I had to lie back as much as possible) and I felt like pushing! Let's just say Scott scared a few people that day with his driving. My eyes were closed for most of the car ride so I could try and stay focused. I remember opening them one time and thinking we still had a long way to go. We tore into the hospital loading zone about 10 minutes later. Scott ran to get me a wheelchair. A security guard wheeled me up to the L&D floor because Scott had to go park the car. My eyes were still closed for the most part but I do remember opening them a few times as I was being wheeled through the lobby. I remember people looking at me. In particular, I remember two ladies sitting down having a conversation and smiling at me once they realized I was ready to give birth. Sorry but I was in no mood to smile back.

It's about 9:55 a.m. now. I arrive at L&D telling the nurses I feel like I have to push. There are about 7 or 8 nurses sitting around the nurses station and none of them seemed to be moving as fast as I wanted them to. I heard one of them say, "Okay sweetie, we're gonna get you set up in a room." I was so focused inward by now. We get into a room and the nurse is grabbing a hospital gown from a cabinet and begins to ask me if I mind changing into a gown. By the time she turned around I had literally ripped off all my clothes so that I could climb into the bed. All modesty was out the window and I just didn't care...I wanted to push! No one was acting with any sense of urgency (apparently because I looked too relaxed to be at the *pushing phase* just yet) and I was getting really frustrated. Finally I yelled at the nurse, "It feels like I'm gonna take a crap!!" Then she took me seriously and asked if she could check my cervix. Please! The look on her face was one of shock and confusion. I was 9 cm with a little lip left. Now all the nurses were running wild trying to get everything ready. Scott finally made it up to the room as did our doula Patti. Scott made a comment to the nurse about us wanting a natural childbirth - no drugs. She said we didn't have to worry about that because it was too late in the game for drugs anyway. Patti had all the birthing supplies we had talked about using during our birthing (birth ball, aromatherapy, etc.)...I knew we wouldn't be needing any of them now.

Oh my goodness was it hard not to push through the pressure waves. I just breathed deeply and imagined my cervix opening up the rest of the way. I think I was even saying "open, open, open" out loud. Even though I wasn't listening to my Hypnobabies Birth Guide CD I still *heard* the affirmation that my cervix was just melting open. It seemed to work that way the whole time: I may not have been listening to any CD's at the time but my subconscious would pull bits and pieces of what I learned with Hypnobabies whenever I needed it. Finally the nurse let me do a "practice" push but then told me to stop. She needed to get a doctor in the room first. Scott was on my right side and Patti was on my left. I remember looking at Patti a few times for reassurance...She seemed so calm and relaxed, just what I needed. The doctor came just in time and immediately told me I could push. I remember being scared that I was pushing too hard when the nurse was telling me to hold my breath and push. It felt much better to me when I exhaled a little bit. The doc was trying to tell me where to push as if I could not feel it. I think they're used to women with epidurals who need the direction. Without any drugs I felt my body just take over and do the work. Pushing was the most intense thing I've ever felt in my life. I've heard that when it comes time to push the baby out it actually feels good...And it did. It was like a sense of relief. Before I knew it his head was out and I felt the rest of his body slide right out. Our hypnobaby Ian was born at 10:32 a.m. (less than 45 minutes after arriving at the hospital). The nurses whisked him away to check his vitals. He wasn't screaming like they wanted him to but he was just fine. Ian weighted 6 lbs. 10 oz. and was 18.5 inches long....Not bad for being about 3.5 weeks early. Scott was by Ian's side as the nurses were checking him. I barely caught a glimpse of Ian before the nurses took him so I was trying so hard to look over my left shoulder to see him. Patti adjusted some things so that I could see him better. It was so amazing to see him and Scott right there...It's not just the two of us anymore! The nurse said I pushed Ian out in about 4 minutes and I'm having a hard time believing that. I think it took a little longer, but I didn't push more than 10 minutes. Scott is still having a hard time believing that I managed to push a baby out of me at all. When the nurses first brought him to me we just lay in bed skin to skin with a warm blanket over the two of us. It was so special.

Our birthing time was so amazing. I still can't believe how well everything turned out. The most pain I felt was from the numbing shot the doc gave me (I needed just a few stitches). It wasn't the birth that I had envisioned but everything just happened so fast. I REALLY wish I would have not let the nurses pressure me into purple pushing but I think they wanted him out because his heartrate was dropping with the contractions. I also wanted him to be placed immediately on my belly but that didn't happen. I guess it was just one of the downsides to getting to the hospital so late in the game...They didn't really have time to go over my birth plan. All that seemed so unimportant once I held Ian in my arms though. He and I were both healthy and we had an awesome birth day ~ That's what mattered most.

If I can share one piece of advice to expectant hypno-moms it is to TRUST your mind and body! Do not doubt that what you have learned with Hypnobabies will work. It will...If you TRUST!