Mina's Birth

Wilhelmina Frances (Mina) was born Friday, April 13 at 1:03 pm, on her
"due" date. She turned out to be not as small as one of our midwives
(and an ultrasound) predicted—she was 7 pounds, 6 ounces and 20 inches
long. I knew from the kicking at my ribs and punching at my bladder
she was crowded in there pretty good!

Her birth was incredible and happened almost exactly as I had
visualized during my Hypnobabies home study practice. I joked with my
friends about visualizing labor starting in early morning, sleeping
through most of it, and having a baby by two that afternoon. I
actually had a baby by 1!

While I wouldn't say it was discomfort free, I think it could have
been if I hadn't second-guessed my hypnosis. And there was no point
during her birthing time that I was even slightly tempted to consider
any form of medication. The pressure and tightening was intense, but
totally manageable with the help of my husband.

Two weeks before my due date I was 70% effaced and 1 cm dilated. I had
a lot of cramping and bleeding after this vaginal exam, so declined
any others. I am also a first-time mom and didn't want to get too
obsessed with signs of impending labor. I knew it was likely that I
wouldn't have the baby until around April 20.

Regular contractions started Thursday, April 12 in the afternoon, but
they were far apart and I went to my book club. I felt some brief
tightening every half hour or so, but was able to ignore it most of
the night. Two of my friends mentioned—separately—that I was glowing.
The friend who was planning to doula for me looked at me and said,
"What's going on with you?" I didn't want to raise a lot of excitement
over what could be Braxton-Hicks brought on by my RRL tea and just
enjoyed a night that wasn't about pregnancy or birth. I went home
around 10, and my husband also said I was glowing. I started to think
it might be the real thing, but still fell asleep easily and
peacefully. At this point, I considered the cost of the Hypnobabies
program to be totally worth it just for my new ability to deal with
anticipation calmly and without fear.

I slept until 3 am, and then woke up to more intense pressure. I just
cat-napped and got out of bed about every half hour with diarrhea. I
let Wolf sleep until about 6 am. When his alarm went off, I told him
he probably wouldn't be going to work that day. I got my iPod and
listened to birth affirmations in bed while he cuddled me.

Wolf was a fantastic coach and kept asking me if I want to walk or get
in the shower. I DID NOT want to get out of bed, and this made me
worried that I wasn't handling early labor very well. I thought we had
hours to go and told Wolf to go bake the cookies we had for the nurses
and play with the dog, etc. etc. I was starving, so he brought me a
bowl of bananas with yogurt, which I promptly threw up.

I switched to the birth day script at about 8 am because contractions
were more regular and more intense. I had to focus intensely through
them. We tried timing them, but I couldn't figure out when each one
started. I felt a constant cramping with distinct peaks but not the
periods of relief between them that I anticipated. We had planned to
call the midwife when contractions were 1 minute long, 4 minutes
apart, for an hour, so this was confusing. We had no idea where we were.

I was also bleeding quite a bit, which I hadn't expected. I started to
worry, and Wolf called our midwife at about 9:30 am. She said bleeding
was normal and that I would know when I needed to go to the hospital.
By this time, it was nice to have Wolf help me breathe through each
contraction. I also started to second-guess my hypnosis. I was pissed
off that I could "feel" the contractions so intensely and worried how
I would make it through active labor. I thought Hypnobabies wasn't
working for me.

I decided we should go to the hospital at 10:30 am, because the
bleeding was much heavier. I got up and dressed in my yoga clothes and
swished with some Listerine because I couldn't imagine going through
the birthing process with such disgusting morning breath. I
immediately threw up and was hanging over the toilet with hot and cold
flashes when I said to Wolf, "This can't be transition, can it?" Then
I started trying to clean the toilet because I didn't want him to have
to deal with my puke. "Babe," he said, "I can get it. Let's go."

I made it down the stairs, but had to kneel on the couch with my head
and arms on the back of it for two more contractions. Wolf had to work
to get me to stand up and walk to the car in between pressure waves.
In the car, I braced my hands on the dash and chanted along with the
script: "pressure and tightening" "open, open, open" "release." I
opened my eyes between contractions and the day was so clear, so
bright--I had never seen anything so beautiful.

We couldn't find a parking space in front of our hospital's birthing
center, so Wolf kept driving around looking for something close. I
just wanted out of the car and kept saying, "Just park. I can walk." I
could, but we needed to stop three or four times for me to lean on him
with my arms around his neck. At one point, I was on my hands and
knees on the grass out front, and he lifted my shirt so the sun could
hit my back. I don't know how he knew I would love that. I wanted to
stay there, it felt so good.

Looking back, it is hard to say how I felt. I was focused, but worried
how I would handle "real" labor. To any observers, I am sure I looked
like I was in pain, head on my arms saying "only pressure and
tightening" over and over. But it was totally manageable. Any "pain"
was due to my analyzing whether or not I was feeling pain instead of
choosing my hypnosis.

I thought I was being a total baby and making the classic first-timer
mistake of getting to there too soon. But it turns out we walked into
the birthing center at 11 am dilated 8 cm. The nurses scattered to
fill the birth tub. Wolf says I high-fived him after I was examined. I
don't remember this. I do remember asking him to "do the wave thing"
when a contraction came on. He guided me through a visualization of
riding a wave and told me when it peaked that the wave was passing me
and it wouldn't get any more intense. This seemed to cut my
contractions in half, knowing when they were receding. At this point,
I preferred my husband to my scripts, but was still repeating "open,
open, open" and other cues over and over. I didn't use my fingerdrop
technique very often, but think I was in center most of the time.

I was trying to be so polite and positive, like Ina May says to. I
apologized to a pregnant girl (not in labor) in the examination room
getting a non-stress test for being vocal during contractions. I
didn't want to scare her. :-) When my midwife rubbed my back to help
me, it was all I could do not to push her hand away and grunt NO. I
didn't want to be touched hard, and even the fetal monitor against my
belly hurt. But I held it together enough to just make a waving motion
with my hand and whisper, "Soft touches, soft touches." I also
apologized to my friend Sarah, who barely made it while I was pushing
(and roaring)--I told her, "You missed the part when I was calm!"

I was ready to get into the birthing tub 30 minutes after we got to
the hospital. Pressure and tightening became involuntary bearing down.
Before getting in, I kept asking if I was pooping. I was really
worried about having diarrhea in the tub. (I didn't.)The midwife kept
saying we'll get it honey, and Wolf helped me into the tub.

He sat on the seat, and I kneeled on the bottom of the tub with my
arms around him. Pushing was completely unexpected. It felt like my
body was beyond my control. With every push I growled and roared, and
totally forgot about any breathing techniques or trying to slow down
the process. Between contractions, though, I could joke with everyone
a little, kiss my husband, and (I am ashamed to admit) complain that I
hated this part. I also kept reassuring Wolf between contractions that
I was OK, that it wasn't that bad, that it just felt good to make
noise. I didn't want him to think I was in unimaginable pain--because
I wasn't. But it was very primal, and the stretching was intense.

By the end, after an hour, I just wanted her out and gave an intense
push. I regret that now, as I had a second-degree tear that I probably
could have avoided. I didn't feel it at the time, though. Wolf caught
Mina as she slipped out under water and we hung out in the tub until
the placenta was delivered and Mina's cord stopped pulsing. I never
got to use my carefully packed "labor bag" full of snacks, honey
sticks, tennis balls, ocean waves CDs, lip balm, etc. etc. We didn't
even get the "Shh, hypnosis…" sign on the door!

We were lucky enough to get the midwife who started the water birth
option at our local hospital and a nurse who used to be a home
midwife, so our birth team was really supportive and just kind of
stayed out of our way as we did our thing. They let us have two hours
to breastfeed and bond and eat the pizza my friend brought us before
weighing and measuring Mina and stitching me up. That and the recovery
were harder for me than labor.

We got to come home 24 hours later and spent the next five days just
resting and nursing and getting to know Mina. Pushing while staying in
hypnosis was hard for me, but the only difficulty before that was my
worring that I was in very early labor and facing a long day of
increasing intensity. If I had known I was so far along, I would have
agreed that it was fast, easy, and pain-free. In all, it was an
amazing experience--wonderful.

My husband and I have told each other the story of Mina's birth over
and over, the way you relive the way you met. We worked through such
intensity as a team and came out of the experience with more respect
and love than ever before, even after seven years of marriage. He
tells me daily (and anyone who asks about the birth) that I was a rock
star, but I couldn't have done it without his advocacy and presence.

We did Bradley classes early in my pregnancy, and I studied
Hypnobabies towards the end. While I know a lot of people on this
board don't feel this way, I think Bradley was invaluable in helping
my husband feel involved and know want to expect physically. A live
study for 12 weeks gave us more knowledge about the biology and
physiology of birth, more insight into our local hospital's practices,
and more practice working as a team than a home study could have. That
said, I know my birth experience would have been VERY different
without Hypnobabies and can't imagine doing it any other way.

Now for the real challenge...