Mitchell's Birth (Susan's 3rd baby boy)
I decided as soon as I found out we were expecting that I was going
to do what I could to avoid the whole uterine spasm thing this time
around! So I did more work on positioning, practiced yoga the whole
time and probably most importantly, had a long discussion about it
with our own wonderful Janet. She was able to talk me through my
own feelings about it as well as give me some ideas of how to
improve my mental and physical approach to my birthing. She helped
me realize that it wasn't a big deal if that WAS just how my body
functions, and that really helped me let go of any lingering fears
or disappointment in how my body worked in the past. Surprisingly,
simply accepting that I might go through that again allowed me to
move on and believe that this birth could be different.
The pregnancy went much more smoothly than my first two. I kept
waiting to feel the need to see a chiropractor, but when I still
hadn't developed any aches or pains at 37 weeks I went to see one
just to get checked out. He said everything was well aligned and
good to go! But my baby, who had been rolling from LOA to ROA
consistently for a month or two seemed to settle into ROA pretty
much constantly around that point. I talked to him about it and
visualized him moving into a better position, and he would move
around then settle right back to ROA. Finally, I found an article
on Spinningbabies that helped me recognize that I was holding some
tension in my uterine ligaments that were making it hard for him to
move. I did an inverted stretch (which felt WONDERFUL!) about 3 or
4 times over the next few days. The last time I did it was just
after a long, relaxing walk with my mom and a close friend. When we
got back from our after-dinner walk it was around 10:00 so I spent a
little time chatting with my parents who were in town for the birth.
(Since my dad won't be reading this, I'll add that I was a bit tense
about him being there because I knew he wasn't comfortable around a
birth, let alone a home birth AND because he was kind of grumpy
about changing some doctor's visits to come when I asked them to.
That's why I had offered to fly Mom down and have him drive down
after the baby arrived. But HE chose to come when he did, yet he
had made some disparaging remarks about how he could have kept his
appointments that day because I "still hadn't had that baby yet."
Grrrr. They had been in town all of 24 hours and he was giving me a
hard time for wasting their time by taking so long to have the
baby! And I was only 39.5 weeks.)
I headed up to bed, but couldn't seem to settle down. I kept
flitting around, finding more stuff to do until I suddenly realized
it was well after midnight and I was still puttering. It crossed my
mind that I might be nesting, as I had caught myself doing earlier
as I left work. (I completely cleaned off my desk and made notes for
everything in sight to explain who it should go to and what needed
to be done with it if I wasn't in the next day. That was the first
and only time I had done that.) I decided that I needed some rest,
if that was the case, so I decided to do a fear release while taking
a bath to help me relax, then maybe I could get to sleep. I was
still fidgety, even in the tub. I was using two inflatable bath
pillows to try to comfortably be on my side instead of my back and
kept floating around and slipping too far into the water and needing
to re-adjust. But I just kept using my lightswitch and not worrying
about it. Just after the script ended, I was just relaxing and
talking to the baby when I realized that the movements I was feeling
in response showed that he had flipped to LOA! I congratulated the
little bugger on being so brilliant and a few moments later felt and
heard a "POP!" coming from the upper left side of my belly. I
didn't see or feel any sign of amniotic fluid, but I knew my water
had broken and it had ruptured up high. So I relaxed for a few more
minutes and gave my baby some encouragement, then got out to use the
toilet and go tell David that things were starting. It was a few
minutes after 1:30.
As soon as I sat down a felt a trickle of fluid that I knew wasn't
urine. I realized that if I gave a little push, a gush of fluid
would come out every time. I looked in the toilet and saw that the
fluid was cloudy with a very, very mild tint to it, although it
wasn't any discernable color. Just not as clear as water. I was a
little confused because kegels definitely worked to stop the flow,
but I figured that was because the tear was so high and the fluid
wasn't coming out of the sac right at the cervix.
I pulled on the first nightgown I saw and went down to tell David
what was happening. He was playing a game on his computer, and when
I told him my water had broken, he said, "Oh MAN! Not now, I'm
almost to a new level!" Then, with true dramatic timing (he is a
professional actor, so he knows how to make the most out of a
moment) he paused to give me enough time to think, "He can't
possibly be serious, can he?" before jumping up and saying, "I'm
kidding, Honey! This is so cool! We're gonna have a baby! What do
you need me to do? Have you called Nancy?..." and just took off
going a mile a minute. Then he came back, gave me a tender kiss and
seemed to remember that I needed calm reassurance more than anything
else, and had the perfect demeanor from that point on.
I called our midwife around 1:45 and told her what was happening. I
hadn't had any pressure waves, so she said to call her if things
changed. David and I hopped into bed shortly thereafter with the
Birth Affirmations playing and almost instantly I began having
waves. By 2:15 they were 4 minutes apart, so David called Nancy
again, and she headed over. Her assistant, Joanne (a Hypnobabies
instructor!) arrived about 1/2 hour later. I was up and, again,
puttering around, getting the scripts I wanted to hear and had the
Birth Affirmations going on my headphones as I did it. I went
downstairs when Joanne arrived. By now my parents had heard the
commotion and come down, too. I gave my mom a few things to do, but
mostly was just wandering around, letting the waves wash over me as
I waited for the midwife and the birthing tub.
The waves were more intense than with my other births. I didn't
experience them as gently as I had in the past, but they were in my
abdomen, not my back! Hooray! They weren't bad, but very crampy at
the peak and I simply preferred the moments when I wasn't having
one. I felt best when I leaned over something and
said "peace...peace and anesthesia" and various affirmations to
myself. And if someone was wandering by as I leaned over, they'd rub
my lower back for me and then move on once it ended. It was all
very casual and peaceful.
When Nancy arrived, I was leaning over a birth ball, chatting with
my mom and Joanne and listening to the Birth Guide (out loud now).
David was busily getting ready to fill the birth tub and at one
point I saw him walking by with an acetylene torch and a worried
expression and decided that I just didn't want to know why.
Finally, they got the birth tub assembled and filling, but it got
too hot, then too cold and they were boiling water to try to get it
just right. That was when my friend Jamie (yet another Hypnobabies
instructor!) arrived. My waves were feeling more intense, and I
really think that I would have had the baby at that point if I
weren't so darn stubborn. But I really wanted to be in the water
for the birth, so I snagged David and asked him to start using some
cues with me. I curled up on the couch and turned off for the first
time since getting out of bed a couple hours earlier. Between
waves, I would open my eyes and quietly chat with David who was
gently stroking my leg and offering me loving support. Finally, I
asked Nancy if the tub was ready YET. She said in a few minutes it
would be warm enough for me, but not warm enough to have a baby in
it. That was good enough for me! So I got up and David and I slow-
danced through a couple waves before I finally climbed into the
water.
I knelt on one side and David was on the other side of the wall. It
was around 4:40, and I was thinking, "Wow, this is going fast for
one of my births! I wonder if I can have this baby by 6:00." I
wrapped my arms around David's neck and he gave me prompts right in
my ear when I had a wave. At this point, things became more intense
and I really didn't like the strength of the crampy feeling at the
peak of the wave, so I asked Jamie to get the transformation birth
prompts out. She stood behind David and read them to him and he
would give them to me during a wave. 19 minutes after getting in
the tub I felt the baby drop what seemed to be at least a few inches
and my pelvis spread much wider around the baby's head. I looked at
the clock and thought, "Hmmm, I think it is going to be BEFORE
6:00!" With the next pressure wave, I felt my uterus pressing down
on the baby and my pelvis S-P-R-E-A-D-I-N-G significantly. I
remember letting out a powerful, "Oh, God!" in a spontaneously
prayerful response to the surprising sensation coming on so quickly
and excitment at how soon we'd be meeting our baby. I quickly added
an "Oh, God, YES!" to let David know that it was a positive
exclamation, and also to remind myself that this was a positive
sensation so I shouldn't fight it or tense against it. After 2
waves like that, Nancy quietly reminded me that the water was too
cool for the baby, and I should think about getting out. My pelvis
was so open that I really couldn't imagine asking it to open in yet
another direction as I stepped over the high side of the tub. So I
said, "Ok, but I am going to need a LOT of help getting out." I
started to stand up to get out when another wave started and I
immediately went back to my kneeling position as I said, "Here it
comes." Nancy said, "Another wave?" and I said, "No, a baby!" I
felt the baby push against the hand I had on my belly and felt
myself opening dramatically. I reached down and felt the first bit
of the head emerging. At this point, my baby was oh so close and my
pelvis was oh so open that I decided it was time to have a baby!
There was no way I was going to be able to get out of the tub before
meeting the baby. Having my pelvis open so expansively so very
suddenly wasn't hurting me, it just felt weird and I didn't want to
experience it any longer than necessary. So I began pushing, with
my hand still gently stroking the silky hair I felt emerging. I
remember thinking that my vocalizations were extreme and that I
sounded out of control. It also felt like this part took several
minutes and I wondered, "Why is this taking so long? I'm ready to
be done now!" But Jamie was filming it so I know that in reality I
just gave three productive-sounding grunts in about 25 seconds and
then Nancy was saying, "Reach down and bring your baby up to your
chest." That was it! It was 5:04 and I was already holding my
baby. I couldn't believe it!
The little one was unresponsive at first, and there were a few tense
moments while we worked to get him started breathing. But his cord
was pulsating fine and he pinked up quickly. I have no idea why he
was so limp at first, since I had just felt him kicking his way down
the birth canal a few minutes earlier. But I sometimes wonder if he
was simply so relaxed he dozed off. It sounds weird, but that is
how he often puts himself to sleep. He'll let out one little wail
or grumble as he flails about, then when I look down to comfort him,
he's sleeping so peacefully you'd think he'd been that way for an
hour. When we got him to talk to us, he seemed a bit surprised and
offended like he is when his brothers wake him up mid-nap. But he
settled down quickly and has been an incredibly good-natured, smiley
baby ever since.
So it seems that it took me three births to figure out that my
ligaments need a little extra TLC to keep them relaxed and
stretched, but that made all the difference for me! How weird is it
that I'm kind of glad it took me so long to figure out, so I have
three very different experiences to draw from in my teaching?
-Susan