Our labor of love
Saskia and Morvryn
Before I tell you our birth story, I have to say two things:
1.) Never call the American Red Cross if you need help! (it won’t do you any
good)
2.) The next person who tells me I had an easy birth or I have a high pain
tolerance will not survive the day …
Now to the birth…
At the 21st of September 2007 I woke up at around 7 am and felt like I was
getting my period. It felt like those cramps I always get right before the
bleeding starts, but those “cramps” came every 20 minutes. I was confused,
because I thought pressure waves would feel different, like they would start
from the back and work their way to the front…. I decided to have a normal
day. By about 4 pm those odd cramps were about 12 minutes apart. I thought it
might be best to call the midwife, since I had planned a homebirth and I was
alone at home. My husband is in the Army and he was in Alabama at the time in
the field while I was at our house in Kentucky.
Anyway, Ann, our midwife, came and said I was not opening yet, but I might
want to get David, my husband, home, so he would not have to start driving
home when I am already in labor. We were both worried he would drive like a
nutcase. So at 4.30 pm we called Red Cross America and told them I would be in
labor and we would need the Army to send David home. Then the midwife went
back home thinking David would be on his way.
Well, those cramps continued. They did not change, they just came more often.
At first I was surprised and tensed up and they were painful. But then I
decided to stop listening to my head and let my body do the work. So every
time they came I went on my hands and knees and shook my butt J. Really. I was
Hoola-Dancing the whole time.
When I was moving, the pain just changed into pressure. It was not bad anymore
at all and I thought I managed really well. I kept on calling my husband to
see if he was on his way because I started to realize that this was it. But he
had not heard anything yet from Red Cross. He wanted me to call our midwife,
but I felt good alone at home and did not want anybody else around. I started
filling the pool though and I put on some candles and burned some sage to
clear the atmosphere in the room. In between doing all this I had to go on my
hands and knees and shake my hips all the time of course.
Well, I made the pool water to hot at first and then to cold and I ended up
having to boil water on the stove, go down and hands on knees, bring the water
to the pool, go down on hands and knees, go back to the kitchen and boil more
water….
At about 10.15 pm I was ready to get into the water. The pressure waves came
every five minutes. So I called my midwife. She came about 20 minutes later
and told me I was already at 7 cm. I was surprised! At about 10.25 pm Red
Cross Kentucky called me to let me know that they had just called Red Cross
Alabama. I was mad!!! It took them from 4.30 to 10.25 to call from Kentucky to
Alabama. Since my midwife usually works for the Amish here I told them I
should have sent one of the Amish guys on the horse. They might have been
faster. I figured if it took Red Cross Kentucky sooo long to get with Red
Cross Alabama, it might take them a few hours to get with David’s unit and I
started to think that he might not make it.
Well, I went in the water and from then on everything went smooth. The water
felt great and I kept on doing my little dance.
We had only candle light on and I listened to the “Rilke Projekt”… a CD with
poetry. I had wanted an unassisted birth at first, so our midwife knew not to
talk to me too much and just to let me do my thing. And she did. She started
talking later, but since she talked English, it did not bother me at all. I
focused on the German words from the CD.
Ann was sitting next to the pool holding the phone close to me so I could talk
to my husband. I sounded like a radio journalist who does the sport. “Okay
honey, hold on. I won’t be able to talk for a minute…. Alright, I am fine. Do
not worry, okay… It is not bad at all. It probably sounds worse than it is…” J
I do not know when I started to feel “pushy”…. But I know that I got really
tired. I had not slept more than about 3 hours the night before and I almost
fell asleep in the pool once. When I started to feel pushy I wanted to have my
ears underneath the water. I don’t know why, but it felt great. I felt a lot
of pressure in my hips and at one point it really hurt. I noticed that I had
allowed my head to come back into the game. So I talked to my brother
Sebastian. See, he died when he was 17 and I had chosen him to be my baby
boy’s guardian… While I was pregnant I dreamed about Sebastian a lot. So I
talked to him and told him to help my son to dance right through my body. And
it worked. I relaxed and I felt pressure and I felt exhausted (!) at some
point, but no pain anymore.
I really believe that pain most of the time is caused by our thinking, our
fear and our “tensing up”…. That is why I hate it when people tell me I had an
easy birth. Well yes, I prepared for it and worked for it. And I do not have a
high pain tolerance at all. I just believe that I should do what is best for
the baby and not what is easiest for me. So to me that meant NO DRUGS unless
there is an emergency. It was clear to me that I had to put my baby first.
That is why I practiced meditation and hypnosis during the pregnancy. Most
people seem to think there are those who birth easily and those who have bad
births. I think there are those who are scared and tense and have a bad birth
because of that and those who are relaxed and feel safe and have a good birth…
And of course there are a few who have problems and really need help during
birth. But at least 97 – 98 % of all women could and should have good births.
Well, I cannot tell you how long I had my head underneath the water. Finally I
decided I needed to go pee. Ann told me I could pee in the pool, but I was not
willing to do that. So I climbed out of the pool (hard work) and went to the
bathroom. In the hallway the water broke. Then I decided to walk through the
house to speed things up. Ann behind me with the phone…. And then, right when
I was at the house door I felt like I had to get back into the pool right
away. So I tried to run… not a good idea… I put my hands inside myself to see
where my baby was and he was close. I had my hands inside myself almost all
the time. My midwife thankfully encouraged me to do that.
When I climbed back into the pool I started to make odd noises. I was worried
that my husband on the phone might freak out about time. He was driving home
at this time. I told him it did not hurt, it just help to make this sound…. I
could feel my baby’s head on my fingers moving down.
I kept on thinking about that one sentence I read in the HypnoBirthing book
(which is all I used for preparation)…
Breathing love, nurturing life. I kept on saying that to myself as I breathed
my baby down. And then I could see his hair. A lot of hair. His head came out,
got back in, came out… My legs started shaking and I had no control over them
anymore. I was amazed by that and just starred at them. Ann and her assistant
Elsie held my legs for me, because I was not able to change back to my hands
and knees like I wanted to. From that moment on my body went numb. I had
expected the ring of fire… but nothing. From that moment on I was not even
exhausted anymore.
I think some endorphins kicked in. I felt only joy now and I watched my son’s
head coming out. Then his shoulders, then the rest of his beautiful little
body. A minute later he was on my chest looking at me like he was saying “What
happened? Where am I?”
My husband on the phone said “Is everything alright?” and our son turned his
head to see where that voice had come from. Then Ann checked him while he was
still on me. He was fine, but he started crying. Nearly broke my heart to hear
that!
I nursed a bit and then we waited for the placenta. It did not take long, but
to me it felt like it took forever.
When the placenta was out Ann checked me and I went to take a shower. Then my
husband came home and I went to bed with my two boys. Our son Morvryn was born
at 1.15 am.
Of course I could not sleep that night. So I called my family in Germany and
at about 7 I got up and made breakfast.
Since then I felt fine. I had no afterpains and Morvryn is gaining weight
fast…
That was 13 days ago and now the bleeding has almost stopped. I am back to my
before pregnancy weight and my body feels like this miracle never happened.
Sometimes I wake up at night and look at my boy next to me, just to make sure
it was not just a dream.
The only bad thing now is that Ann told me I am not allowed to have sex for
six weeks and I could go again J!
All the best to all of you!
Saskia and Morvryn