Teddy's Birth

**warning: not a pain-free birth (Choose to use your hypnosis!!!)**

Labor started for me about 4am on Monday, but the contractions were
easy and I didn't really know if it was the real thing or more
prodromal labor. (I had been rudely turned away by a nurse two days
before when I presented in prodromal labor-- not knowing if it was
the real thing or not-- the nurse got in trouble for her conduct but
I was still concerned about having that experience again.  I think
it may have been the real thing but the way I was treated made me
feel so anxious my body stopped and started again on Monday.)  So
anyway, back to Monday . . . Tried to get some more sleep. By 6am
the contractions were STRONG.  Still wasn't convinced this was the
real thing but knew I needed to get into hypnosis now. I tried to do
my hypnosis but my iPod died after two minutes (poor planning!!!)
and it was so cold that morning I was having real trouble getting
comfortable. I got in the tub but it didn't help (walls of the cast
iron tub were FREEZING.  Our heater wasn't working!) Little did I
know I was almost in transition at this point . . . a few minutes
later I did realize it was time to head to the hospital birth
center, but we had to wait for the babysitter to arrive for our
toddler first.  At this point I really allowed myself to become very
stressed and anxious.  I pretty sure I was experiencing adrenaline.
I was scared that it was starting to hurt, scared that I couldn't
get into hypnosis (never once did I try going to the bed, lying
down, and doing a fingerdrop.  Instead I was rushing around trying
to get things together so we could go.  In retrospect that was a
poor decision.)

By the time we left I was in pain. A whole new set of fears set in
now because I didn't realize I only had an hour and a half of labor
ahead of me.  I was going back in my mind to my 31-hour back labor
with Gabriel; I thought labor was just starting and I kept thinking,
I can't do this!!!!

When we got to triage I was 5 cm dilated, which to me confirmed my
fears of a long morning ahead (silly me.) I knew I couldn't wait for
the water tub to get filled at this point.  I needed relief NOW.  I
begged for an epidural but agreed to get in the whirlpool tub first.
I did get a shot of Nubain and I think it helped me relax some, I
was so extremely wound up at that point.

By the time we got to the room I felt the need to poop. On the
toilet I got to 8 cm. Forget the whirlpool tub, I was laboring fast!
Onto the bed, I got into the child's pose-- ahh, relief!  By now I
was MUCH more calm, but still in some pain.  I was now fully dilated
and ready to go.  I put on the iPod again (we had been recharging
it) and listened to the pushing track for a few minutes.  I think it
helped some, but I took it off so I could talk with the midwife who
had just arrived (she'd been rushing to get there in time!)  I was
using the affirmations and some of the cues too, but I wasn't
relaxed enough for my anesthesia to work (it had worked many times
before when I had practiced it so I know it works.)  The midwife was
helping me find a good position for pushing.  I had started pushing
some in child's pose, hanging on to the headboard and biting my
pillow, but the midwife wanted me to direct more of my energy into
pushing, so I got up into a squatting position-- felt so right-- and
Teddy was born very quickly (though I tried to slow it down some--
like trying to stop a train!) Teddy was born just an hour and
fifteen minutes after we got to the birth center!  I was so proud of
myself. Oh, and through the whole thing, my husband was absolutely
wonderful, but unfortunately he didn't know enough about the
hypnosis to really help me much with that.  But he was completelt
indispensable nonetheless.

I know the reason I experienced so much pain during transition was
due to my extreme fear and anxiety based on my last birth, which
like I said was a 31-hour back labor.  This birth was really
different though.  Now that I know that my body CAN birth quickly
and efficiently, I think next time I will be better able to get out
of my own way and birth more calmly and comfortably. All in all this
was a very healing experience for me.

The delivery was great, and the midwives were great, but the
hospital stay after was not a positive experience overall. Nurses
waking me up every two hours, multiple medical professionals
bothering me about all of the procedures I was declining ("so you
don't care if your baby is permanently brain-damaged because he
doesn't get this shot? Well I guess it's your choice . . .") the
food wasn't what I'm used to (I eat all organic at home) and I hate
the overall attitude that the baby belongs to the hospital and if
you prove yourself a good-enough parent than they will "let" you
take "their" baby home with you. We left the second day (as soon as
we could).