Micah

Micah's Birth

Upon first read, this might not seem like "the perfect Hypnobabies birth", but I really want all to understand, I feel like Hypnobabies helped me SO MUCH!! It's important to note, that my first son was induced at 37 weeks b/c high blood pressure, after 5 days of cervidil and pitocin and only getting to 4cm, I had a C-section. Also, most likely from his birth, he has mild athatoid ataxic cerebral palsy (the low tone kind, not the spastic kind), which greatly effects all our lives). I then became a doula. I have been lucky enough to be at all kinds of births, fast, hard, scary,easy, uneventful. My second birth was a planned home birth VBAC, with the same exact team I had for Micah's birth, (Connie, (my doula and doula trainer), Laine, (my friend and HBAC championeer, had three herself), and Claudette, my amazing midwife. And of course my beautiful husband Jason, who although has always been supportive of my plans, is traumatized from my last two births). Elijah's birth, (my second, was a major back labor birth. Four days of long, painful contractions that were all in my back, no luck turning baby, we did everything, after 4 days of it, I finally started progressing but got stuck at 9cm with a lip at home. We tried everything to get past the lip, but couldn't because he was backwards and big, so after 5 hours at home we went to the hospital, got an epidural and pitocin, and then 12 hours later was complete and pushed him out in 4 hours. I had my VBAC and I was thrilled, but I NEVER wanted to go through that again, and told myself early on that I wouldn't ever go through it again. I started off this pregnancy wishing I wasn't a doula because it would just be so much easier to get another C-section. Then I found Hypnobabies.

One of the most wonderful things Hypnobabies did, we make the last 8 weeks of my pregnancy, so much happier and more peaceful. I went from being terrified of birth, to being actually excited, and so confident. Really! I loved doing my practice, and it actually helped me sleep so much! During the last few weeks of pregnancy when most people have a very hard time sleeping, I slept better then I do most of the time, because of the deep state of relaxation that the scripts put me in. I spent a good amount of time visualizing specific things about my birth, and I'm telling you right now, everything I specifically visualized, came true, really!!! For my birthing time, I KNOW, that had I not spent the day before labor really kicked in, relaxing, listening to my scripts, focusing on keeping my pelvic floor loose and relaxed, I would not have progressed as fast and my baby would not have been in such a good position. The last few hours of labor were really hard. YOU WILL READ REFERENCES TO PAIN AND ME HAVING A HARD TIME, SO IF IT WILL HARM YOU IN ANYWAY, DON'T READ THE BIRTH STORY! But in comparison to my other births, this was the gentle, loving birth I had always wanted, even if it's not compared to some other birth stories. My dreams came true with this birth, and I feel so blessed to be able to share with the world my different birth experiences. I now feel like I have pretty much been through it all! This board has been invaluable to me. It was my haven of safety during those last few weeks. I am so thankful for all of you who were there for me, and who shared this time with me. It has been awesome!! I will definitely recommend Hypnobabies to my clients and friends. Okay, so here is the story, it's SOOOOOO long. (thus taking me three weeks to finish it)

It was the day after my due date, but I felt like it was 2 weeks past, like if I went one more day I would have to have a c-section for sure, or at least I was starting to want one, because I just wanted to be done with labor and have my baby. My body hurt so bad, and it was so hard lugging around my big baby in my belly. My doula had just called to tell me that her baby was sick, and was really hoping I wasn't going into labor that night, as she called, I was sitting on the couch using my pump to try to stimulate labor. I wanted to cry. I even called my other doula and almost did just that. But I had a really good talk with her, and felt better, and really resigned to letting the baby come when it was ready, and not interfering in anyway. Right before I went to bed, I noticed some pink in my tissue as I wiped. I wiped a few more times, more pink. It was the start of bloody show, I knew it was. Oh my gosh things were starting, I was so excited. Of course I couldn't sleep. No contractions, no mucus, just a little pink. But I knew that was a good sign, and I was thrilled. After spending some time on the computer, posting to anyone who might still be up on my Hypnobabies and pregnancy boards, I went to sleep around 1:30. Throughout the night I had more and more pink show, and in the morning, it started being more mucusy, but still pink. Not brown, or dark red. Still, no real contractions, just tons of pressure, and it was feeling low down and good. The next day was Thursday, and I had an appointment with Claudette. I told her what was going on, she checked me and I was 2-3cm, and 85% effaced, up from 1cm and 50% effaced the week before. I was elated, more and more mucus was coming out. Pretty much every time I went the bathroom, which was a lot. It was still pink, not red or brown or anything. I think the first real contraction, where I wasn't walking or standing up that I noticed, was around 4 in the morning. I wouldn't say it woke me up, but I was awake, and I remember having one. I was able to sleep still for a while thought. I talked to my doula around 8:30am, (Connie), and let her know what was going on, but that I hadn't had any serious contractions that seemed like labor was coming, but that I was going to take a nap, since it was Friday and both boys were at school. I listened to a Hypnobabies CD, probably the Birthing day one, and laid down. During that time, I had contractions every 7-8 minuets. So I got up soon after that, excited to see things seemed to be starting, but when I was up and about, the contractions seemed be less intense, and much more sporadic. I probably talked to Laine (second doula), and Claudette sometimes in those morning hours. I wanted to go for walk, and Jason was just cleaning for what seemed like hours. It was his way of nesting, he was making the house welcoming. It was precious. I was still only contracting every 7-8 min, so I didn't feel the real need for help from him or anyone else. I still wasn't sure if this was "labor", but something was happening. Elijah stayed late at pre-school, and Jennifer, who was house-sitting for Nick and Dana, picked him up and took him over to her house to play video games. Ben came home from school, and daddy helped him to take a nap. More and more bloody show throughout the day. I never seemed to loose a big mucus plug though, but it was thicker and more bloody through the day. I just stayed very relaxed, listened to my Hypnobabies scripts, and stayed in contact with my two doulas and my midwife. With my midwife Claudette, we pretty much decided by around 4pm when things were exactly as they had been, that if by nightfall things had not picked up, we would try to get them moving with a little Castor Oil and nipple stim. Oh, and Jason and I took a walk around 1pm, and well, I had some good contractions during, but still, very random. It seemed the only time they were really regular, were when I was laying down, which I did do several times that day. Toward the end of the day, they seemed more like 9-10 min apart. I was getting frustrated, that things weren't picking up, but I was still staying really relaxed, and concentrating on visualizing my baby opening my cervix and moving down with each contraction. I was also really concentrating on keeping my pelvic floor very relaxed, so I could open up and let my baby pass through. Probably the most valuable thing I used during my earlier labor from Hypnobabies was my peace cue. I didn't seem to really be able to go OFF completely during my contractions, because I wanted to move during the more intense ones, but my Peace cue really seem to minimize pain or discomfort, and help me to completely relax and let my body open up to birth my baby. (Although I didn't realize how much at the time). Around 8:15, I talked to Claudette and she was at Costco, so she said I could go ahead and take like 4 T of Castor Oil, and see if that helped move things along. I was scared of the taste of it, since I had heard it was really nasty, but I made a small smoothie with Root Beer and Ice Cream, and I downed it all in one drink, and it was totally fine, no problem at all. I called Laine and let her know what I did, and she decided just to come, since she had two hours to travel, and she would rather drive leisurely then all stressed that she would miss the birth. We also called Connie, and we decided Jason would call when we needed her. Claudette got there around 8:45 I think, and just kinda started setting up. I was very excited and talking to her a lot, which definitely made whatever pattern on labor I was having slow down. I was shocked she was staying because I was sure I was only in really early labor, but oh well. I guess she knew better. She went ahead and checked me and she told me I was 6-7 cm and 100% effaced with baby at 0 station!! I was shocked but SOOOOO thrilled. With most of my clients and with Elijah, I was in pretty heavy labor by the time I was that far along. Like contractions 3-4 min apart, with a lot of hard contractions that needed a lot of managing. I was still barley needing to make noise through the contractions. Just breathing and staying relaxed. And they were 10 min apart AT BEST!! I was so happy, it looked as though my Hypnobabies was really working. Also, it was a direct answer to prayer, because in my prayers, I asked that no one come (doula or midwife), until I was at least 6cm. I was shocked. And the Castor oil hadn't kicked in, in any way yet. I hadn't pooped or anything. Oh, my mom was also on her way from San Diego. I wasn't for sure that she wasn't coming too early, (I really wanted her here only early enough to help with the boys, because she could only be here for a week, and I wanted the majority of that time after the birth so she could help with my other boys). We were all trying to decide most of the day if she should come that evening, or wait until morning. I'm Sooo glad she came that evening. I pretty much started harder labor as soon as she walked in. LOL............ it was like 11pm by the time she got there, with my sister too.

I had told my midwife I wanted to have some alone time to listen to my Hypnobabies CD, and get my contractions back into a pattern, because with all of the excitement of her being there and everything, they were spacing out again. Plus, I didn't know how the castor oil was going to effect me, so I figured I better relax in bed while I had the chance. It was from about 10-11pm. During that time is when my mo m and sister got there. Hearing them downstairs made it difficult to concentrate on my CD, plus, I was having more intense contractions laying on my left side like that. I actually preferred standing. I then came downstairs to greet everyone. It was kind of weird, I was in labor, and it was growing in intensity, but I felt the need to be social and hang out with them since they were here. I just wasn't comfortable downstairs with everyone chatting around me. It wasn't the people who bothered me, it was being in such a normal, chatty, high energy environment, when I knew it was time for me to really start concentrating on having this baby. Laine(doula and good friend) got there right about that time, and immediately started counter pressure and my mom heated up a hot pack for my back, which laine used for pressure. I wasn't sure if it was helping in the same way it did last time. I was still having way more pressure in the front then the back, so I felt good that baby was not posterior this time. I know this was a fact that was constantly in my mind and that of my teams. I quickly said I just wasn't comfortable being downstairs anymore, because I didn't feel like being social, so I was going upstairs and who ever wanted to come could, but I needed to be in my birth space, which I always knew was going to be upstairs. in our room which is attached to Micah's nursery. I also told Jason to call Connie, because things were definitely gaining in intensity, and I knew we were going to need her. He did, and it seemed she got there very quickly. She had to bring her daughter because she was still breastfeeding a lot at night, which is of the reasons it was so great I had too such competent doulas there to help. So an way, when Connie got there, I was still smiling and relatively present. She had to go get her daughter to sleep in a different room, and it seemed by the time she got back I was in full labor mode, and not totally present and aware of what was going on. The next few hours are a blur. A lot happened, but I don't know exactly what order or times of things. I know after I got off the ball, I wanted to get in the shower, which I did. That did seem to help with the pressure, I was making a lot of noise now with them, so I know it was gaining in intensity, but it still wasn't that bad. I was also pooping now, the castor oil was doing it's things, I have no idea how close my contractions were, but they were close enough so that no one was concerned or tried to intervene, so I figure they were just perfect. After the shower Claudette wanted to check his position. She does this by listening to heart tones around his head. And being a doula and being at many births, I know what she's looking for. She wants to hear the heartbeat right in the middle, right on top of the pubic bone, if she hears it to the right or to the left, your probably looking at a baby who's turning toward posterior. So, yeah, baby was facing the left. Which meant my labor as now going to be managed a bit. I had talked to my midwife and even put in my birth plan, (I want to do EVERYTHING I can to avoid another posterior baby, please help me to do that. So the next few hours were about trying to get him the right position. I was about 8cm at this time. At one point Claudette said, " you can do hands and knees, and knee chest for a half hour", or I can go in and turn him manually. Which is what we did at the very end with Elijah, and it worked and I got to 10 and was able to start pushing. Of course I had an epidural when we did it with Elijah. So Laine grabbed him from the outside, and Claudette reached in and turned him from the head. I also spent quite a few contractions moving him in my mind, visualizing him moving the right direction, and seeing him stay there. I even saw him struggle to stay there a bit, but with Laine's help and my determination, he stayed. Wow!!!!!!!!!! Anyway, once we had him turning the right way, he was trying to turn back, so we wedged a stool under my belly and Laine held him in position as we figured out what to do. LOL............ I remember every time Laine's hand would move at all I would yell at her. Not in a mean way, but letting her know she might be loosing hold of him. Jason was trying to help get the best stool possible, Connie was helping me through my contractions, and I was just trying to get the baby to stay. But man I was uncomfortable in that position. At one point Claudette said she suggested breaking my water in order to bring his head down and make his position that we were holding him in more likely to be followed through to birth. I said, "Claudette, I know you hardly ever break water, so if you think it will help, go for it." As she was walking back to me with the amni hook, my water broke on it's own, and baby was secured in the anterior position. It must have been at this point when the labor became very difficult for me. I was no longer able to use my Hypnobabies to relax me. Connie was doing such a great job using my hypnosis cues and reminding me to relax and go deeper and deeper, but at this point I couldn't do it anymore. I remember at one point screaming, "I can't relax anymore Connie". She took that as the right cue, to just go back to her regular doula training and help me in the best way she could. Counter pressure, and emotional support. At that point Claudette could see I was getting really tired and wore out. She suggested a B12 shot to help get the contractions stronger, (are you kidding me), and get me finished quicker. I agreed but was starting to worry more and more, because there were all things that we did with Elijah, and that birth ended in a transfer to the hospital, 4 hours of pushing, and a slight vacuum extraction. So I had the B12, and they did get stronger. I was 9cm I think. At this point, I was SURE everything was going to go exactly like it did with Elijah, and I was in soooooo much pain with each contraction. Even though he was in the right position, the pain in my back was absolutely unbearable, and as each contraction peaked, I started feelings desperate to be out of the pain. I started asking to go the hospital, and then, well, begging. They were all kinda laughing at me, because they were saying that my baby would be born in the car if we did that. I did not believe them. I was 9cm with a lip with Elijah for 5 hours before we went to the hospital, then another 12 hours, (with and epidural), before I finally got to 10 and was able to start pushing, and then it was 4 hours till he was out. So you can imagine why I thought the same thing was happening. I think this kind of back and forth banter went on for about an hour. During that time, the midwifes assistant Denise got there. As a doula, I know that it means birth is close when she get's there. But I didn't really realize it at the time. I think she might have brought the TENS machine, which is little electrodes placed on the lower back to help with the pain. I do think that helped, as everyone was commenting how I sounded like I was handling the contractions better with the TENS machine on. But I wanted to get in the water. Desperately. I could tell Claudette was wary of it, because water can tend to flip a baby who's in a good position back into a bad position. So she wanted to check me one more time before I got in, and she said I was complete except a small lip, and that she would try to push it away with the next contraction, which she did, and I was complete. But somehow, I think I still didn't believe her, because I don't remember really feeling like, "Yeah, I'm complete, I can push now, my baby will be here soon. I was just being negative Nelly, and kind of took her saying I could start pushing, as it was okay to start practice pushes. Because with Elijah they tried to push the lip back for hours, and it didn't work, and then I tried to push past the lip, still didn't work. But this was not Elijah's birth. The one thing that really gave me problems, and caused me to panic and loose confidence and cool, was that I could not let go of the fear, in fact, almost expectation that it would end up like Elijah's birth. So a few people were giving me advice on how to push, and stuff like that, and all I could think of was, I want to get in that water, I need some relief from this immense pressure. With each contraction, I could literally feel the baby trying to move my tailbone out of the way, even though he was actually turning the right way, my body still did need to move out of the way for him to come, and it was a feeling that I will probably never forget. (not in a good way). Everyone was telling me that it was happening, that the pressure in my back was my baby moving down and my body moving out of the way for him to do it. I felt like he was ramming against a brick wall. That with every sensation there was pain and pressure, but no movement. I was wrong. My mind was playing tricks on me. But thankfully the mind doesn't control everything. He was moving down. Also, I kept saying I had to go poop, and everyone kept saying, "that's probably the baby", but I really did have to go a little. Not a lot, but a little, and I think the time on the toilette did help. After that I moved to the tub area. I tried to lift a leg in, but I started to contract as I did that. The midwifes assistant was next to me, and said something, I think she just suggested I try squatting by the side of the tub to push. I had yet to feel the urge to push, which was upsetting me, because I never really felt it with Elijah either. But then, I squatted, and as I squatted, he must have moved down because I felt the urge to push, and I PUSHED!!!! In one push, his head was half way out. I was yelling, "Something's coming, he's coming out, he's out of me". I could see in my mind what I had seen so many times before as a doula, a beautiful round crowning baby, with dark wet hair, ready to come out. Everyone scrambled over to me, and I reached down and felt him there. He was really there, it was really happening. I was in shock a bit, but Soooooooo happy. Plus, the intense pressure I had been feeling on my tailbone was gone, he had gotten past that spot. I yelled for someone to get my mom, she and my sister were downstairs attempting to sleep, and I really wanted them to see there newest grandson/nephew be born. My mom had been in the hall of the hospital with Benjamin when Elijah finally came out. Everything was pretty quiet after that. I was standing next to the tub, holding on to the edge, waiting for the next contraction, and it came, and I pushed, and his head came out. Maybe it was more then one more contraction, but it felt like one. Then we waited again for the next contraction. With all that pressure of his head gone, I forgot how and where to push, and it felt like my pushes were doing nothing. People started telling me I needed to push, and I started asking, is he stuck? Claudette was calm and collected, and said he was fine, and that she would help me get him out, but I needed to help too. She was reaching up inside of me, kind of scrambling around. I know now that he had a pretty tight cord around his neck, and t hat she was trying to reach up and free his shoulder, but every time she got a grip, he would slip back. Right before she was about to do the "Shoulder Distocia Technique", she got hold of him and he came out. All 10 lbs, 22 inches, and a 15 1/2 inch head came out in like 4 pushes. Wow!!!! He needed a little oxygen and roughing up, but he pinked up right away, and cried, and well, was just perfect. Also, he was big, everyone was commenting on it, possibly 11 lbs. I was overjoyed, and immediately embarrassed about how out of control I got towards the end. Asking to go to the hospital and everything. I almost immediately sat down, and had my baby in my arms. Wow. Just how I imagined it. Having my baby in my arms right when he was born was really important to me. With Ben, I didn't even hold him for three hours after he was born, with Elijah, the whisked him away because he had meconium, and then I only got to hold him for like 1 min because they were concerned about his color. Was it an emergency, no, but they had things to do, places to go. Of course he was fine and I eventually got him back an hour later. But Micah was with me from the start. After the cord was done pulsating my wonderful husband cut it, and we delivered the placenta. That was a bit hard as it separated weird, and I lost a lot of blood, so I had to stay in one place for a long time, but my midwives gave me pitocin and methergen and I was fine, I never felt dizzy or anything worrisome, so we just hung out. My dad, (who was supposed be called when I started pushing, but there was no time), was called shortly after birth and arrived soon after carrying a basket of delicious strawberries, which I of course ate right away. It was like some kind of make believe fantasy coming true. It was surreal, and even now as I look back on it, it doesn't seem real. But it was, and I am so thankful for it. A big part of my birth visualization surrounded after the baby was born, Jason, and Micah and I resting in our bed, with our baby, instead of some hospital bed with Jason having to sleep on a pad on the floor. That was so wonderful and sweet. Jason was tired, but so proud of me, and have since heard him say in relation to Micah's birth, that I am a beautiful strong women. No one took his baby away after birth, and I got the birth I wanted, he is happy. He said he had to leave for a while when I was asking to go to the hospital, because he was wanting to rescue me and help me to do that, but he trusted the midwives and doulas and there expertise and was so thankful for their ability to handle me during that time.

Micah has been so far, an absolute joy of a baby. He sleeps a lot, but now is starting to sleep less. I swear he has smiled from birth. Reactively. He smiles when he first see's me after waking up, he smiles when I smile, not j ust with gas. I didn't think that was possible, as Ben started smiling around 6 weeks, Elijah 5. He is so cuddly and sweet, and I just hold him like I never want him to get any bigger. Nursing has been going so much better then it did with the other kids, and although I had thrush, and mastitis in the first 2 weeks, he will be three weeks tomorrow and my thrush has been taken care of and the mastitis is gone. He has latched on beautifully. Never any problems there, we are certainly adjusting to life with three kids, but so far, we are Sooo happy. Tired, but sooooo happy.

If you have gotten this far, thanks for reading, and may God bless you all. :-)

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Love,
Willow, Adoring wife of Jason, and loving mother of beautiful Ben, adorable Elijah and precious Micah. Blessed with Boys!

Willow has graciously given her e-mail address if anyone wants to contact her directly.